Sad Songs and Waltzes
by Bebopgoddess
Summary: I've updated! It's a good story, worth the time to read, I promise. The crew has a brush up with the Ripper that lands Faye in the hospital. What could happen from there?
1. Default Chapter

**Although I've written other fan fictions, this is my first Bebop one! Hope you guys like it. Although I am a huge Faye lover, there is no saying how this story will end. I don't own Cowboy Bebop (though I wish I did!) and I didn't write nor do I own any of the songs I use (though I also wish I did). Feel free to e-mail me with comments, likes or dislikes or even ideas. Hope you enjoy!**  
  
  
  
  
"So, so you think you can tell  
Heaven from Hell,  
Blue skies from pain.  
Can you tell a green field  
From a cold steel rail?  
A smile from a veil?  
Do you think you can tell?  
  
And did they get you to trade  
Your heroes for ghosts?  
Hot ashes for trees?  
Hot air for a cool breeze?  
Cold comfort for change?  
And did you exchange  
A walk on part in the war  
For a lead role in a cage?  
  
How I wish, how I wish you were here.  
We're just two lost souls  
Swimming in a fish bowl,  
Year after year,  
Running over the same old ground.  
What have we found?  
The same old fears.  
Wish you were here."  
--Pink Floyd  
  
  
Faye stood over the lonely grave, watching beads of water roll down the headstone's dark, glossed face. Tiny pools seemed to gather in the carved curves of the letters, before leaking out like tears. The rain that morning came down in thick sheets, pounding her shoulders and the puddles below her feet. But still she stood, calmly staring at the headstone.  
  
"Spike Spiegel." Her voice barely reached over the falling drops. Dropping to her knee, she placed a small bouquet of flowers, 2 yellow tulips and 2 yellow acacia's, upon the wet grass. "Fool."  
  
Standing again she dug her hands into the pockets of her oversized coat, burring her head into it's collar. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, inhaling his scent. For a moment she felt like he was there, right behind her, standing just like her, hands jammed in pockets as a cigarette hung from his lips. Her fingers drifted to the hole that was gashed across the chest of his trench coat, which happened to land just below her ribs.  
  
"She's alive, you know." Her voice was soft, yet bitter and full of pain. Anger flashed in her green eyes as they began to water. "They found her soon after you had left her. Jet insisted we take her back to the Bebop, said we owed it to you." She snorted. "Like we owe you anything. You were the one who owed us at least the rest of your life. Selfish jerk." Wiping the tears from her eyes she sighed. "Edward and Ein came back. I hate to say it, but I missed the little demons. I miss you too." She added softly. "We're leaving Mars tonight. We've been here long enough." A moment of hesitation dangled in the air before she turned. "Take care, Spike."  
  
Then she paused, yet again and glanced over her shoulder. It was then she noticed they had yet to carve in the year of his death. They hadn't found his body. A sad smile formed on her lips.   
  
"And if you're still around, stop by sometime."  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Ed waited patently by the hanger, waiting for Faye to return. She sat, perched like a human gargoyle, anxiously humming a song to herself. Finally the hanger opened, sending a big burst of wind gushing by her. Her eyes widened in excitement and she bit down on her lower lip, not being able to wait a moment longer. She squealed and flew from the railing, dancing beside the door of the Redtail. As soon as the hatch opened, she jumped on Faye, clamping her arms and legs around her waist like a monkey.  
  
"Faye-Faye!" She giggled, thumping her head on Faye's chest.  
  
"Hello Edward." Faye answered dully, shutting the door to the Redtail and walking, Edward still attached, towards the kitchen.  
  
"Ed made something for Faye-Faye." As they approached the kitchen Ed jumped off of her and scrambled to the counter, grabbing something and holding it behind her back. "Something nice."  
  
Unable to help herself, Faye smiled and leaned her hip against the counter. She folded her arms and raised her eyebrow. "Something nice huh?"  
  
Edward smiled widely and nodded. From behind her back she pulled out a sheet of paper and shoved it in Faye's face. "Ta Dah!!"  
  
Blinking, Faye found herself staring at a piece of uncooked macaroni. She took the paper from Ed and held it back a bit. To her surprise she saw a noodle person, who she thought was smiling, with black string for hair.   
  
"Is this me Ed?" She asked.  
  
"Faye-Faye noodle person!" Ed shouted, striking a weird pose before expanding her arms and 'flying' into the other room. Faye chuckled, looking down at the picture and heading towards her room.  
  
She placed the macaroni portrait on top of her television and flopped down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Things were just boring lately. They had been on Mars for months now. Her and Jet never talked about why. They both knew the answer. Deep down, they were both holding their breath, waiting for Spike to walk in the door, cigarette in lips, coat slung over his shoulder, hand in pocket. Like he used to. He would stretch himself out on the couch, dangling limbs here and there, as he watched 'Big Shot' on the television. Moaning, groaning and griping about how much he hated women, dogs, kids and life.  
  
From the other room Faye could here the signature gunshot that started off the show. Closing her eyes, she rolled to her side and stared at her blank wall. From below her she could feel the engines of the Bebop start up.   
  
Finally, they were leaving.  
  
She could feel her lashes getting wet. They were leaving, and he was never coming back.  
  
A rustling turned her attention to the doorway. Jet stood there, blocking out the hallway light. "I have some work to do." He said gruffly. Since Spike left he had been short and to the point all the time. The only one he was ever really pleasant to was- "Bring Julia some food."   
  
Julia.  
  
Faye bolted upright, completely outraged. "Why should I? You're the one who wanted her here!"  
  
With a heavy sigh, Jet pinched the bridge of his nose. No matter how much Faye seemed to have changed since her memory returned, she was still the same old Faye.   
  
"Just do it, Faye." He said with a tone of finality before he walked away.  
  
She chased him out into the hallway. "Just remember it was your idea Jet! If you want a pet you have to take care of it!" She shook her fist at him, but he continued down the hallway, shaking his head.   
  
With a groan she slumped against the doorway and looked towards the door across the hall from her. Her upper lip raised in a slight snarl.   
  
Stupid Julia.   
  
Around fifteen minutes later, she practically kicked Julia's door open, carrying a tray in her hands.  
  
From the mattress on the floor, the golden hair woman sat up, rubbing her eyes. Quietly she watched Faye, who refused to meet her gaze.   
  
Faye placed the tray on her lap and quickly glanced up to see a tear roll down Julia's cheek. Her jaw tightened.  
  
"Crying isn't going to help anything." Faye told her coldly, handing her a pair of chopsticks.  
  
Julia sniffed and took them from her. "It makes me feel better." She picked up a piece of what she thought was chicken, and held it between the two sticks, staring at it dumbly.  
  
Having enough, Faye stood, ready to leave.  
  
"Faye." Julia called.  
  
Faye stopped in the doorway, and looked over her shoulder.  
  
Julia sat in the bed, her long waves of spun gold drifted down her shoulders and back. A soft blue blanket covered her legs, as the tray rested across her lap. She stared at Faye in almost shock, like she couldn't believe she had actually spoken. Finally she blink and lowered her head to look at the chicken again. "Thank you."  
  
Faye stared back at her. For a moment she was lost in the woman's sheer beauty. No wonder Spike was so entranced by her. She looked like and angel, anchored with mortals by a simple dinner tray.   
  
"Your welcome." Faye answered softly, closing the door behind her.   
  
With a sigh she rested her back against the door and closed her eyes.  
  
"Damn it, Spike."  
  
* * *  
"Two thousand woo-long!" Snatching the laptop from the coffee table, she stared at the screen closer. Her mouth began to water. "Think of all the food we could buy."  
  
From beside her leg, Ein whined in agreement.  
  
Jet sat on her other side, eating from a plate of bell peppers. "What are you mumbling about?" He asked her, spooning some into his mouth and looking over the screen that rested on Faye's lap.  
  
Her stomach lurched when she caught a whiff of the horrid smelling food. Making a disgusted face, she leaned away from him and pinched her nose. "Agh! That smells awful Jet."  
  
Ignoring her, Jet kept eating. "Two thousand woo-long, eh?"  
  
"Not exactly a heavy bounty, but a lot more than the chump change they're been throwing around lately." Faye stared at the picture of the deeply tanned man in his fifties with stark white hair that fell to his shoulders. His blue eyes were so crisp and piercing, she got a shiver just looking at his image. They seemed to taunt her, daring her to try and catch him.  
  
A smile stretched over her red lips. "He's all mine."  
  
"And mine."  
  
Behind them, Julia stood, dressed in a black sweater and black pants, with the same melancholy expression she always wore, surrounded by a sea of gold.  
  
"No way." Faye said simply, standing up and shutting the laptop.  
  
"You still need more rest." Jet told her, much like a father would a child.  
  
"And I don't need to be pulling around dead weight." Faye added.  
  
Julia's eyebrows lowered into a scowl. "I'm not dead weight."  
  
Faye shrugged her shoulder lazily and slid her sunglasses over her crisp green eyes. "The point is, I don't have time to chase after a trigger-happy rookie who's trying to save face for the death of our last partner."  
  
"Faye!" Jet snapped. His eyes fixed on her, warning her mot to say another word. She huffed and looked away, her jaw setting.  
  
"I'm not a rookie." Julia told her calmly. "I worked for the syndicate for years and--"   
  
"I know exactly how you got where you were in the syndicate." Faye interrupted evenly.  
  
Julia gasped; looking like Faye had just struck her in the face. Her cheeks burned red as her blue eyes began to water. She turned, in a swirl of glittering gold, and disappeared into the dark hallway.  
  
"Damn it Faye!" Jet hollered, shooting up from the couch. "Why do you always have to be so awful to her? Would it kill you to be human towards her? Just once?"   
  
Ignoring the question, Faye turned from him, heading for the hanger. She reached the doorway and paused. "I at least got her back in her room, didn't I?"  
  
She walked out into the hanger, climbing into the Redtail. Jet followed her, his face red with anger.  
  
"Faye! You have to stop treating her so badly. When she's fully recovered she's going to be a partner with us!"  
  
Still ignoring him, she started her engines and hit the button above her head to open the hatch.  
  
"It's not her fault he's dead, Faye!"  
  
The sentence shot through all the noise, loud and clear. Jet had gone back into the Bebop, and it still continued to ring in her ears. Was that why? Was that why she hated the sight of the woman? Why she couldn't stomach being in the same room with her?  
  
Shaking the thought from her head, she gunned the thrusters, shooting out from the ship and heading for her newest bounty.  
* * *  
  
  
Nearly three hours later she found herself at a bar, sitting two seats down from her bounty. They called him 'Snow White', which was pretty ridiculous, considering the man was all muscle and no where near as pleasant looking as he was in his picture.  
  
She had been watching him from the corner of her eye, when he stood, seemingly ready to leave. As he walked past, she managed to catch his eye with hers. He smirked and stopped, squeezing up next to her and placing a few bills on the bar, ordering a drink for her.  
  
As she sipped from the glass, she kept her eyes fixed on him. She slowly ran her tongue over her upper lip, to take up the extra alcohol, then smiled a him.  
  
"Thank you." She kept her voice low, with a sexy undertone to it.  
  
Snow White grinned like a wolf back at her. Faye pulled out a cigarette and raised her eyebrow. Still grinning, he reached into his coat pocket and produced a lighter. He sparked it for her, and she leaned in, her eyes still locked with his.   
  
It was then she made her move. While leaned down, she swung out her hand, pushing his away, and grabbing her gun. Before he even knew what happened, she had the gun to his temple.  
  
"You ready to come with me, Snow White?"   
  
He grinned again. "Not just yet, sweetheart."  
  
With one swift move, she was on her back, and he was out the door.  
  
She jumped back up and ran after him, ignoring the ruckus that she had left behind in the bar. She followed his footsteps in the snow, running as fast as she could. Turning a corner, she saw his back, just before he disappeared into an old warehouse.   
  
Everything was dark inside, as soon as she stepped past the moonlit doorway. Her breath appeared in puffs before her as she tried to get her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Slowly she crept in, gun up, ready to fire.   
  
The entire place seemed deserted. Row after row of support columns were all that stretched before her, with the exception of a few rotted out, broken couches scattered here and there. Something rustled to her left. Swiftly she locked her gun into position, her eyes focusing on a stray cat. It's eyes glowed in the dark back at her. Letting out a sigh of relief, she dropped her gun for an instant. The cats tail twitched before it mewed and jumped from it's spot.  
  
"Stupid ca--" Her sentence was cut off as a cold hand gripped her throat and slammed her back against a steel pillar. She choked for air, while scratching at the large hand the covered her air passage. Her head throbbed in pain as Snow White's face appeared before her.  
  
"Nice try sweetheart." He whispered to her, tightening his grip. Her fingers stretched from the knife she kept in the back of her shorts.   
  
Snow White let out a loud howl then, which became mixed with a wild hissing. His hand dropped from her neck, as he batted at his back, turning himself into circles. Faye looked up in shock to see the cat, viciously scratching at Snow White's back.   
  
He finally managed to grab the cat by the scruff of it's neck. He threw it forward, causing it to slam against another pillar, then fall into the snow, completely motionless.  
  
"Fucking ca--"  
  
This time he was cut off by a gun to his face. "You're ready to go now." Faye told him through gritted teeth. She drew back her gun and clocked him across the cheek, knocking him out cold.  
  
He thumped not the ground, little swirls of snow kicking up around him, just as a loud jet engine was heard outside. Light shone in through the windows, illuminating the entire warehouse.  
  
Blocking the light from her eyes, Faye squinted, as the wind blew her hair back from her face.   
  
The Swordfish.   
  
Her heart leapt. It began to beat so fast, she thought she would drop dead. He was back. Somehow he had eluded death again and had come to save her, just like old times. She felt tears start to well in her eyes.  
  
But then it all ended. All ended with a swirl of gold. Like it always did.  
  
Anger boiled in her veins. How dare she! That wretch of a woman, taking something that didn't belong to her out for a joyride. Using Spike's ship like it was her own. Like she had the right to.  
  
"Faye?" Julia called, now at the opening of the doorway.  
  
For one crazy moment, Faye lifted her gun, aiming it right at the unsuspecting blonde. No one would know. She could be done with the wretch now. She'd never have to deal with her again. Never have to look at what she could never be. Never have to live with the ghost Spike could never rid himself of.   
  
She lowered the gun.  
  
"I'm over here." She said emotionlessly.  
  
Julia ran over to her, looking down at Snow White. "You got him?"  
  
"Yeah, I got him." Her eyes drifted over to the heap of black fur that still resting in the snow. Quietly she knelt beside it, searching for a pulse. She found one. A smile came to her lips as she scooped him up, bundling him in the warmth of her coat. "Call Jet," She nodded towards Snow White. "He's too big for us to carry."  
* * *  
  
Jet groaned and shook his head. "Damn dirty crooks."  
  
Faye, who had been passing by, stopped in her tracks, her eyes catching a glimpse of the computer screen. "Three hundred woo-long?! That's all we get!?" She whined and dropped her head into her arms. "I'm so hungry." Her stomach groaned for effect.   
  
"Well expect even less, with one more mouth to feed."   
  
Faye stood, and began walking towards her bedroom. "Morris saved my life, Jet, I couldn't just leave him there to die."  
  
Just as she reached her doorway, Julia stepped out of hers. Their eyes met, and Julia's automatically fell to the floor. They brushed past each other in silence, but for a second, Faye hesitated.  
  
"Julia."  
  
The blonde turned slowly. "Yes?"  
  
"Thanks for checking up on me." Faye didn't know why she was saying it, it just seemed right to do so.   
  
"The only other person who ever came to get me was--" She cut herself off. Something flashed through Julia's eyes. A mixture of sadness and worry. "Well, let's just say it's been a while." She smiled softly. "So thanks."  
  
Julia gave a weak smile back. "Your welcome." They both hesitated for a second, questions hovering in air, waiting to be asked. But instead they turned, Julia to the hallway, Faye to her room.  
  
On her once bare wall was now Ed's macaroni picture, and on her once empty bed, lay Morris, sleeping peacefully. She smiled and lay down beside him, lost in her own thoughts.  
  
Had Spike told Julia about herself and him? Or was Julia just assuming that since she and Spike had been together for a while that they had in fact "been together"?   
  
Morris had gotten up and was now nuzzling her ear, purring loudly into it. She laughed and petting his head, as he closed his eyes and layed down again, this time on her pillow, right beside her head. Laying a kiss in his head, she scratched behind his ear.  
  
"At least I have someone to share a pillow with again, huh Morris?"   
  
"Faye?" Julia asked quietly from the doorway. "Jet found another bounty..."  
  
"How much?"  
  
"A million."  
  
Faye sat up. "Well then, let's go."  
  
  
  
  
** Well that's it for now! Things will get more interesting soon, I promise! Look forward to more fun Faye and Julia adventures also the answer to a lot of questions, like what happened between Faye and Spike? Is Spike really dead, and if so, will he come back? And if he does, what happens then??? Hmm, even I don't know the answers yet, but stay tuned and you'll find out!** 


	2. Chapter 2 pt. 1

** Thank you to everyone who reviewed my story, I actually wasn't expecting any reviews, so it was a bit of a surprise. I'll be the first to admit this chapter isn't much, I wrote it in a hurry and there's still a lot more to go, but unfortunately my college roommate decided to quit, so she's moving out, thus taking her computer with her. So I tried to get a little something up to tide everyone over until I can update again. Sorry everyone! I'll update as much as possible, but keep the e-mails and reviews coming!**   
  
  
Faye felt her breath still in her lungs. A single bead of sweat trailed down her spine, feeling like a finger of a ghost, slipping down her skin. She pressed her back against the cold brick wall for security. With sweaty palms she re-gripped her gun and glanced across the doorway to Julia. She stood, gun up, standing as though she had been frozen solid. Green drove into blue, both waiting for the right instant to move.  
  
Over the past few weeks, they had become a team. Both of them looking past their differences, simply to put food on the table. And in the end, they realized that they had become a machine. Perfectly synched and well oiled to always run smoothly and efficiently. They functioned on sheer intuition. The slightest eye twitch or clenched muscle, reading each other to simply stay alive.   
  
Julia's arms tensed, Faye shifted her leg.  
  
They struck at once, Julia kicking open the door, Faye falling to her knee, gun aimed, ready to shoot, Julia right behind her.  
  
From the ceiling hung a single bare light bulb, swinging back and forth, throwing half the room into a flood of white, before plunging it back into black. A figure sat, hunched over in a chair, hands bound behind its back, facing the corner.   
  
Faye stepped forward, slipping a bit on the gleaming, slick floor. Raising her foot, she looked at the bottom of her shoe. "Blood." She looked back at Julia, whose mouth turned down a bit. Her attention went back to the figure in the corner. "Sir?" Cautiously, she approached him; gun aimed for the back of his skull. Carefully, she rounded him, anticipating him to jump up at any second, trying to catch her off guard. But he remained still.  
  
Placing the barrel of her gun to his forehead, she pushed his head up. She gasped loudly, letting his head fall to his chest again. Taking a step back, she took a deep breath. Over the past few years, she had seen a lot, but nothing like this. The man's eyeballs had been gouged out and his throat torn open. Her eyes roamed over the floor of the small room. All that blood couldn't have come from him.  
  
"Faye." Julia said softly.  
  
Faye looked up, just in time to see Julia fade into darkness, as the swinging bulb blinded her with light, before it swung back to Julia. It lit up her back, making her hair sparkle, but casting an eerie black shadow on the wall before her, just below a blood smeared message.  
  
"Tony was bad." Faye read softly, glancing down at what was supposed to be their bounty. "Guess so."  
  
Julia turned, just as the light hit her again. "What kind of a person would do this?"  
  
Faye began tip toeing towards the door, trying not to slip again. "Someone I would never want to meet. C'mon, let's get the hell out of here."  
  
Julia cast another look back at the wall as she followed Faye out. A cold chill raced up her spine, stopping her dead in her tracks. Her eyes darted around the dark hotel hallway. She could *feel* eyes on her.  
  
Faye glanced at her while lighting a cigarette, raising her eyebrow. "You okay?"  
  
She couldn't see anything or anybody for that matter. Maybe she was finally loosing her mind. "Nothing."  
  
Shrugging, Faye started down the hallway, before she ground and wiped her boots on the carpet. "Blood stains are such a bitch to get out of white."  
  
Julia followed her, not being able to shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Once more she glanced of her shoulder. There wasn't a soul there, just a lonely security camera, perched in the corner of the far wall.  
***  
  
She awoke with a start, a cold sweat misting over her forehead and causing her nightclothes to stick to her body.  
  
It was the same dream. That same Goddamn dream.  
  
Slowly her pulse began to return to its normal pace. Roughly, she rubbed away the wetness in her eyes with her fingers.   
  
"He's dead Faye." She whispered to herself. "He's dead."  
  
With one final sigh, she cleared the heavy feeling that weighed down her chest.   
  
It was always the same. The dream, the waking up, the crying. But this time, there was no warm, fuzzy form, pushing itself against her back for comfort. She looked to the door to see a space, just big enough for Morris to fit through.   
  
Getting up, she padded, barefoot, into the hallway. When she stepped into the main room of the ship, space stretched out before her, through the huge glass windows. Also before her sat Morris, staring out at the vast sea of stars.   
  
She smiled. That cat. He was so weird sometimes, almost human.   
  
She knelt beside him, brushing a hand over his head. "Hey Kitty." Morris purred and tipped his head back. Faye chuckled softly. "What are you doing out here all by yourself, huh?" Scooping him up, she cuddled him as he lounged in her arms. It was silly, but she could have swore he was smiling. "You want some food?"  
  
Placing him on the counter, she turned to the refrigerator. "Hmm... you don't want that... Ed wouldn't even eat that stuff." She leaned down farther, spotting some left over chicken from a few nights before. "Ah, here we go." Leaving the door open, she turned and dropped the plate, shattering it on the ground.   
  
Morris sat on the counter, staring at her, bathed in the warm soft glow of the refrigerator's light. He just continued to stare at her, not phased by the broken plate and for the first time, she noticed his eyes were two different colors. One a deep rust, the other a shade lighter.  
  
"Spike?" She croaked.  
  
Morris twitched his tail, before leaping off the counter and into the dark.   
  
Faye laughed at herself and looked to her feet. "You're loosing your fucking mind." She bent down and began picking up the mess she made.  
  
"Faye?"  
  
She looked up the see Julia, dressed in her light blue silk robe; her hair tied back in a braid. Julia knelt down and helped her pick up a few pieces of glass. "Are you alright?" Her eyes shifted over Faye's chalk white skin.  
  
Smiling uneasily Faye stood, broken shards all piled ontop of the largest piece of plate left. She dumped if into the trash. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little clumsy." She smiled again for effect.  
  
Just by the way Julia peered at her, Faye could tell she didn't believe her. But she didn't say anything. Julia's eye's drifted down and paused at Faye's legs. Faye glanced down and for the first time she realized she was wearing Spike's boxers. They were so hideously ugly and tacky; there was no way they could have been mistaken for anyone else's. Her head snapped back up.  
  
Julia continued to stare, no real emotion shining through on her face. Just the same melancholy mask she always wore when she didn't want Faye to know what she as thinking. To Faye, she looked like some storybook Princess, dressed in her long, flowing robe, golden locks pulled back, glowing like some beautiful creature in the warm light cast from the refrigerator, a solemn expression on her face. She looked like she had just found out Prince Charming was screwing the kitchen wench. Faye glanced down at herself in disgust. Old baggy t-shit, stolen underwear of a dead guy, and hair that was sure to be much like a rat's nest by now. That's all she was in this fairy tale. The kitchen wench.   
  
Julia blinked repeatedly, pulling herself out of her ravine. Fear was gripping her heart. She was being selfish. Of course Spike would have found someone else, she had.   
  
"Did he love you?" Once the question exited her lips, she wished she could have reached foreword and grabbed hold of it before it reached Faye's ears.  
  
Faye tried to answer, but honestly, she was so shocked, words escaped her. Julia looked flustered at her question, yet at the same time, full of pain. Could she tell her? Should she tell her? Faye's heart sank. Was there even anything to tell?  
  
"I--" Julia whispered. Her eyes drifted to the floor, unable to look at Faye anymore. For maybe the first time ever, she felt jealous. Not insanely jealous, she wasn't going to leap forward and attack Faye in a fit of rage. It was more of a morose jealous. Faye had accepted something she had longed for, but was too afraid to risk taking. "It's just..." Tears, no matter how hard she fought them, began to build in her eyes. "He once promised me that..." She looked up to Faye, whose eyes were too, glimmering with tears, but for another reason. "That he'd only love me." The last sentence came out as a sigh.  
  
Julia watched as Faye began to walk away. She paused just beside her, the light sparkling the water that rimmed her eyes.  
  
"You want to remain friends, don't you, Julia?" She asked quietly.  
  
"Of course."   
  
"Then never mention his name to me again." She brushed the hem of Julia's nightgown as she walked by, entering the dark hallway.  
  
"Faye."  
  
She stopped, closing her eyes, forcing back the tears and the thoughts that were madly streaming through her mind. She didn't answer.  
  
"I have to know." Julia's voice was frail, barely gracing above a whisper.   
  
Faye swallowed, choking down all the bitterness in her heart. "Don't worry Julia, Spike wasn't one for breaking promises." Before Julia could ask more, she escaped into her room. There her tears fell freely and silently. She curled up into a ball on her bed, feeling painfully crippled by dread. She was a fool. Who would love a girl like her after they've had a Princess?  
  
Warm fur pressed itself against her back. Morris leaped over her and peered at her face. Cracking open one eye, she gazed at the cat, who's tail waved behind him curiously.  
  
"Wouldn't you rather stay in Julia's room?"  
  
Morris meowed and pressed his forehead to hers, flopping down beside her. Faye smiled, stroking his soft black coat, instantly finding comfort, before she drifted back asleep.  
* * *  
  
"Hey." His voice was low and gravelly, like always, but with a hint of softness she had never detected before. She smiled and heard him chuckle, feeling the vibration in his chest. "You have to get up sometime, you know."  
  
"I know." She whispered. She nuzzled the crook of his neck, inhaling his heady, intoxicating scent. Jet and Ed would be back soon, she had to leave. His arm curled around her waist, drawing her closer, pressing their bodies against each other. She basked in the absolutely amazing sensation of her skin, touching every inch of his. It was so soft and tender, and not covered in scales, like she had believed at one point.  
  
His fingers combed through her hair. "Faye." He told her softly. "Open your eyes."  
  
He was above her, hair all dishelved, scruff on his chin, yet she'd never seen him look so good. He gazed into her eyes and quietly brushed some hair from her forehead.  
  
"They say the eyes are the windows to the soul." He told her.  
  
"They do, do they?"  
  
He chuckled. "Yeah... you know what yours are showing me?"  
  
She could feel her heart skip a beat. She had betrayed herself. "What?"   
  
"Something I never thought I'd see again. Something I thought I'd never want again." His fingers brushed below her eyes, like he was wiping invisible tears.  
  
"You know what yours show me?" She asked him. "That you're not as tough and cold as you think you are."   
  
A slow grin came over his lips and he pressed them to hers. Her fingers found themselves tangled in the back of his hair, as her other arm rested itself on his back. A tingling feeling filled her stomach and her head felt light as his kisses trailed down her neck.   
  
From the other side of the ship, they could hear Ed's voice.  
  
"You better get going." Spike leaned back again. He smiled at her one last time. "I'll see you later, okay?"  
***  
  
"Faye-Faye!"  
  
She awoke to see Edward, not Spike, sitting on her chest, staring at her intently.  
  
"What is it Ed?" Normally she would have screamed and thrown a fit, but disappointment weighed so heavily in her heart, she couldn't muster the strength to yell.  
  
It was only a memory. A ghost of the past, not the present itself.  
  
"Will you take Edward shopping? Jet person said ask Faye-Faye."  
  
Faye groaned. She'd rather stay in bed and mope, but getting out would be good for her. She wouldn't risk falling asleep and dreaming again. And besides, shopping is shopping, even is it's for Ed.  
  
"Alright, get off of me. I'll take a shower and get dressed."  
  
  
** I know, short, weird, and a little random, but it's all I could do for now. I'm just giving you guys a little insight into to the Spike and Faye stuff that went on before Julia came back, you know, the stuff that really SHOULD have happened and also I'm starting the "villain" that will be the main focus of my fic. Anyway, don't jump to conclusions about Morris just yet, and don't worry, Spike's not completely gone, just be patient, it'll all happen in time. Better stuff is to come, I promise.** 


	3. Nicotine and Gravy chpt.2. pt.2

**Hey everyone!!! I'm back! Unfortunately not for long, but still I managed to whip up something for you guys. I'm so sorry that I have to take such long breaks between updates, I hate it when authors do that, but we're working on getting me a computer, so we'll see how that goes. The chapters are going to start to get stranger now, so be warned. Hope you're as excited to read it as I am to post it!**  
  
Chapter 2 part 2  
  
I'll be your chauffeur on a midnight drive  
It takes a miracle just to survive  
Buried animals call your name  
You keep on sleeping  
Through the poignant rain  
I think we're going crazy  
Her left eye is lazy  
She looks so Israeli  
Nicotine and gravy  
I'll feed you fruit that don't exist  
I'll leave graffiti  
Where you've never been kissed  
I'll do your laundry  
Massage your soul  
I'll turn you over  
To the highway patrol  
I think we're going crazy  
Things don't even faze me  
Her left eye is lazy  
Nicotine and gravy  
Miracles amaze me  
She looks so Israeli  
Love the way she plays me  
I think I'm going crazy  
I don't want to die tonight  
I don't want to die tonight…..  
--Beck  
"Nicotine and Gravy"  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Faye struggled with her bags as they exited the final store, Edward zipping before her, dancing around random people who passed by on the crowded street.  
  
All in all, the day hadn't turned out so bad. She and Ed had bought a bra (which was why Jet was so adamant that Faye take Ed, and not himself). After that, they got ice cream and followed it up with some additional shopping, which brightens up any day. If only this blasted town had a casino, the day would have been perfect.  
  
She watched the red mop of hair before her pop up and down through the people, many of which cast strange glances down at the girl dancing around them. Faye smiled, adjusting the bags in her arms. Sure, Ed could be a little annoying sometimes, but she was a good kid. Faye stopped suddenly, her eyebrow quivering. Had she really just thought that? Shaking her head, she sighed. She was getting mushy in her old age.  
  
The shop window to her left caught her eye. A big neon sign of an eyeball and the word 'psychic' flashed repeatedly, drawing her to plaster her face against the window. Inside the dimly lit room, she could barely see lit candles and fabric draped luxuriously from the ceiling.  
  
"Hey Ed!" She called towards the crowd, hardly taking her eyes from the shop. "We're going in here for a bit."  
  
Pushing open the door, she was hit by a wave of sweet smelling smoke and strange old music. The bells above her jingled lightly, acknowledging her presence, as Edwards slammed into her back.  
  
"Faye-Faye, what are we doing?"  
  
"You're going to wait over there," Faye told her, pointing to some floor pillows that were gathered in the corner of the room. "And I'm going to--"  
  
"Welcome child." Said an old, sand papery voice beside her. Faye jumped, and faced the old withered woman. She was dressed in beautiful robes, the color of rich brandy, and she could hardly see through the wrinkles that surrounded her eyes. Her sagging skin turned up around her lipless mouth to resemble a smile.   
  
"Sorry to frighten you." She folded her knarled hands together across her beautiful robe. "I tend to walk softly. Is there something you've come to ask me?"  
  
Faye leaned back slightly as the old woman circled her, the light tinkle of her anklet of bells drifting through the air.   
  
"A question about my future." Fay managed to choke out.  
  
The old crone smiled again. "Don't you mean the future of another?" A blush came over Faye, as she nodded slightly. Suddenly the old woman's head snapped towards Ed.  
  
"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" She hollered.  
  
Edward, paralyzed by fear, fell backwards, dropping the gold incense burner onto the ground.  
  
The woman turned back to Faye and gently took her hand. They felt like old, wrinkled leather to her touch. "What the heart seeks, the mind destroys. Follow your soul, and the two will compromise. 300 wulong please."  
  
"300 wulong?! You didn't even tell me anything! You could have gotten that out of a fortune cookie for all I know!" Reaching over, she grabbed the back of Ed's shirt and the rest of her bags. "C'mon Ed, we have to get back to the ship." Edward waved at the old woman, still a little dazed, as Faye stormed out the door, dragging her behind.  
  
The woman sighed and pushed open the curtain leading to the back room. She sat at a low table and picked up her chopsticks. Sighing again, she held up a small strip of paper and reread it.  
  
"I really thought it would work this time."  
  
* * *  
  
After putting everything away (mainly hiding all the stuff she bought and didn't want Jet to find out about) and leaving Edward to figure out the bra (with some help from Julia, of course), Faye leaned against the Hammerhead as Jet continued to work. He remained shoulder deep in the machine until Faye knocked on the side. A loud 'thump' then a 'damn it', came before Jet emerged, rubbing the back of his head.  
  
"What is it Faye?" He asked irritably, dropping a wrench in his toolbox and picking up a smaller one.  
  
"Just wanted you to know we were home."  
  
He grunted and nodded. "How did… IT go?"  
  
A smile came to Faye's mouth despite how she tried to hide it. "We found her a bra."  
  
The same bright red shade returned to Jet's face, as he coughed and practically dove into the ship again. "Good."  
  
Silence fell over them for a while. The only sounds that echoed the room were the metal tinkering noises made by Jet working. It was funny, for the first time, Faye felt completely at ease with the man who she thought hated her. Deep down, she knew he didn't. There were too many times he'd saved her, too many times he'd fixed her ship without payment. Too many unspoken words of comfort after Spike left.   
  
Slowly, she slid down the side of the ship to the bench Jet had set up for himself to stand on, wrapping her arms around her legs. How absurd was it that after all this time, she was realizing what a value he was to her?  
  
"Hey Jet." She said softly.  
  
He must have still known she was there, because this time there was no thump and no curse. He simply backed out of the ship, just enough to see her.  
  
Faye continued to look ahead, recapping in her mind, all the times Jet had proven himself a partner, a companion, and a friend to her. The words struggled to form on her tongue, but they evaporated as soon as they reached her lips.  
  
A warm, callused hand covered her shoulder. She looked up at the tall, burly man, and for the first time in ages, he gave her a soft smile. No words needed to be said; expression portrayed emotion better anyway. But as usual, all touching moments were interrupted on the Bebop.  
  
Ed tore through the hanger; her bra tied to her head like a pilot's cap as she zoomed by the two, making gun noises. Julia chased after her, breathlessly.  
  
"Ed, that's not how you wear it!" She attempted to catch up with the hyper 'pilot', but fell behind as they ran back into the living quarters of the ship again.  
  
Faye blinked as Jet turned another shade of red.  
  
"I'm gonna take a nap."  
  
"I gotta finish this."  
  
They stated at the same time, Faye standing and Jet leaning back into his ship.  
  
* * *  
  
Julia trailed her fingers around the brim of her sweating martini glass. This was one of the worst bounties she and Faye had ever gotten stuck with. The pulsating music was so loud she could almost feel her organs vibrating in her chest. She glanced over at her dark haired partner, who seemed lost in her own thoughts at the moment. It had been six months since she had joined the Bebop crew, and somehow she and Faye had become best friends. Granted, they weren't like the best friends she had in junior high. She and Faye didn't sit around listening to the new cutest boy group, painting each other's nails and giggling about their latest crushes.  
  
Her lip tucked up into her cheek in a small smile. After all, it'd be hard to talk about the same guy with out getting jealous. After the night she had made a fool of herself by asking Faye things that were none of her business, she decided to never mention it again. Faye couldn't have minded, she never said anything either. And so they decided to live in ignorant bliss. It was the one subject that could possibly ruin this teaming that fate had decided to bring together, and neither of them wanted to test that.  
  
She was brought out of her thoughts as Faye stood from her stool at the bar. "I'll be right back." She told her, and headed through the crowd.  
  
Julia watched her blandly before she looked back at the annoying neon sign that hung above the bar, boredom consuming her again. She glanced in the mirror, just in time to see a scrawny, short guy step up beside her and push up his glasses with his index finger. Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. She groaned. This guy was going to ask her to dance. Making an attempt to scramble away, she grabbed her glass and started to lean in the other direction, hoping to dodge his finger before it tapped her on the shoulder. But she felt a cold poke anyway.  
  
"Miss," The little drunken man slurred, leaning against the bar beside her. Slowly she turned to him, and managed to plaster a smile on her face. Her grinned back at her, his little eyes squinting up behind his thick glasses. At that one second she had the mental image of a mole, peeking through a hole in the ground, grinning up at her. "I've been watching you." He stated, swaying a little, sloshing the liquid in his glass around.   
  
A chill raced up her spine at his creepy sentence. And then she managed to calm herself, she was being ridiculous, all this drunken guy wanted was someone to talk to.  
  
She felt someone grip her arm. Faye nearly yanked her off of the stool as she began dragging her through the dance floor. "She just left! I ran into her in the bathroom." Julia noticed that the out fit Faye had picked out for their night on the town had a big gash out of the left shoulder.  
  
Glancing back, she saw the little man wave and call something to her, just as the crowd filled in, blocking him from sight.   
  
"I'll be seeing you!"  
  
Julia shivered and caught up with Faye, feeling fortunate she had to hunt down a bounty instead of talking to him for another second.   
  
They burst through the doors into the cold, blistering air of night. Faye ran after the bounty immediately, while Julia found herself slacking behind a little, still disturbed by the weird little man at the bar. Shaking her head, she cleared herself of those thoughts and caught up with Faye. A bullet buzzed past her head and she dove for cover behind a wall, Faye bend down next to her, gasping of air. Julia cocked her gun, tense and ready to shoot. She jumped out form the wall to fire a few shots, before she took cover again as the bullets were returned.   
  
Quickly she glanced at Faye. "What happened to your lip?"  
  
Fiercely, Faye wiped the blood from her mouth and straightened up. "The bitch hit me with a plunger."  
  
Julia stared at her, not really believing what she had just heard and biting down on her lower lip to keep herself from laughing out loud. "A plunger?"  
  
Faye gave her a nasty glance. "What, you think that's funny?"  
  
Julia coughed in her fist and attempted to keep a strait face. "No, of course not." She raised her gun again, ready to shoot again. But this time, when she shot, nothing was fired back.  
  
She glanced at Faye, who returned her look. Carefully they both peered around the corner.  
  
"Shit." Faye said softly, standing up and walking out form the cover of the wall. Before her lay their bounty, nearly shredded into thousands of strips, in a heap on the ground.  
  
Julia, in complete awe, holstered her gun, staring at the grotesque scene before her.  
  
"How…"  
  
Faye looked around, suddenly aware that they might be being watched. "Maybe we should get out of here." She looked to Julia, who was now standing over the body.  
  
"How could this have happened? We were right there. Only a few seconds had passed since she fired back at me…" Her stomached lurched slightly, but she managed to keep her lunch down. She placed her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes. "This is so gross."  
  
"She looks like beef jerky." Faye said idly, mainly to herself. Of course that was enough to send Julia, tripping forward, to empty the contents of her stomach behind the wall.  
  
Faye groaned, turning away from the entire scene. Why was it that whenever they saw something even remotely gross, Julia always had to go barf in the distance somewhere?  
  
A terrified scream came from behind the wall, and Faye found herself leaping over the pile of mulched body, ready to shoot whoever was attacking Julia. Instead, she found Julia there alone, her hand covered in blood, a horrified look on her face. Faye looked up to the wall, and, if she were a screamer, she would have belted out a screech that would have deafened Julia's. There was a message smeared in blood on the wall, just like at the hotel.  
  
" 'Sinners pay for their evil deeds.' " It came out of her as a breathless, hollow whisper. She could feel the blood draining from her face as she took a step back, ready to run. Never before had she felt like so scared and disturbed by a series of events. "Julia, let's go."  
  
Julia, a little calmer now, but still not capable of words, nodded and kneeled, quickly trying to clean her hands in the snow.   
  
"Now." Faye said weakly, in an almost begging breath. She could feel tears welling in her eyes. It was disgusting, the way she was acting, like a child. A cry baby. But as soon as Julia stood, they both ran the fastest either had ever run before, jumping into their ships and taking off without hesitation.  
* * *  
  
Julia sat alone on the couch later that night, sipping on some hot tea, and staring into the darkness of the ship. She was too shaken with the memories of the day to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she saw that poor woman's body, shredded into a pile on the concrete. She shivered and gulped down a warm mouthful of tea to warm herself.  
  
She felt something warm and furry brush against her legs and she smiled, leaning down to pat Morris on the head. He purred in response and jumped up to curl himself in her lap. She pet him in a daze, her mind too distracted to concentrate on him right now.  
  
How was it possible that she could have been murdered in such a horrific way, in such a short time? And why had she and Faye seen both of these grotesque crimes, even when they were committed on different planets?  
  
'I've been watching you.'  
  
The words of the scary little man at the bar made her entire body freeze. The hair on the back of her neck stood up, and she drank down the rest of her tea, desperate for the warmth.  
  
She was just being mean now, she scolded herself. So the guy was creepy, and so he was short. That didn't mean he was a sick psycho killer, did it?  
  
She was brought out of her thoughts by footsteps in the hallway. Jet plodded into the room, rubbing her eyes, and heading strait for the fridge. He opened it and reached inside, pulling out the milk carton and finishing it off. Then he closed it up and stuck it back inside.  
  
Julia chuckled. "Now we know who's guilty of doing that."  
  
Jet nearly had to pull himself off the ceiling. "Jesus Christ, Julia." He placed his hand over his racing heart and then took up the spot on the couch next to her.   
  
"Do you have any idea how annoying it is to reach for the milk and have to carton empty?"  
  
"Do you have any idea how annoying it is to nearly shit your pants in the middle of the night?"  
  
Julia chuckled and leaned back into the cushions of the couch. "Sorry." She continued to pet Morris, who purred happily with her doing so.  
  
"Why are you up this late?" Jet asked her softly, he himself reclining into the worn down fabric of the couch. "Still thinking about today, or do you have other things on your mind?"  
  
Her hand paused in the air for a second. "Jet, did Spike ever talk about me?"  
  
"Sure. I mean, not a lot, but…" He looked at Julia's hurt expression. "Ah, I mean, you know Spike… He was real secretive about stuff."  
  
"When he did talk, what did he say?"  
  
Shifting a little uncomfortably, Jet cleared his throat. "Well… there was that whole thing about you being a liar and crushing him, and well, you know how Spike over exaggerated sometimes and uh, are you sure you want to know, I mean we could talk about something else for a bit." She smiled at him gently, gesturing for him to continue. He sighed. "He was still completely in love with you, well…"  
  
"Until Faye." She finished softly for him. He nodded softly in agreement. "What were they like together?"  
He gave her another look of hesitance, and she smiled. "I promise not to go into a fit of rage."  
  
"Well," He began. "It was a secret at first. I didn't know for weeks. But when I suspected something, I confronted them, and they both denied it. Damn liars, both of 'em, I knew it was the truth. After a while, they stopped sneaking around like a couple of kids, and acted like a real couple. They made a great pair. Racked up bounties like you wouldn't believe. There would be times when he would just sit and stare at her, like he was studying her, permanently trying to capture her in his mind. He looked like a lovesick goon, if you ask me. I'd tease him about it sometimes, and he'd tell me there was nothing more beautiful than a woman you knew could bust your balls." He shrugged. "Call me crazy, but I don't really find that attractive."   
  
Julia smiled again, though this time it was more of a sad smile. "He really loved her, didn't he?"  
  
"Yeah… but not enough to stay." He looked at Julia. "I've never seen Faye more broken than the day he left. She tried to hide it behind her cool, uncaring persona, but deep down it was killing her. Knowing he was walking into his death, especially after he had left to find you."  
  
"But when he came for me, I asked him to run away with me. He never gave me an answer. I think he would have come back for her, if I hadn't, well, 'died' ".  
  
Jet shrugged. "Who knows." He reached over and gently patted her on her bare knee. "But you should move on, stop living in the past, start living for the future." He glanced down at his hand and blushed fiercely, pulling it back quickly. "Sorry."  
  
Julia chuckled, and reached forward, taking his cool metal hand in her own. It looked so monstrous and cold under her small, soft fingers. "It's okay." She told him softly, allowing her fingers to drift up his arm with fascination. She had never seen it this close up before, it was an older model, but still a fascinating piece of machinery. Tentatively, she placed her hand on his shoulder, and leaned in to rest her head on it. Soft strands of gold drifted down over her face as she unknowingly drifted off to sleep.  
  
Jet looked down on her quietly, and with his other hand, gently brushed the hair from her face.  
  
"Good night Julia." 


	4. To Sheila

**And here it is, the chapter you've all been waiting for, SPIKE makes his debut in my story! But don't get too excited, it's not what you think. Just a warning for some, if you hated Vanilla Sky don't bother reading on. Also, some of the characters are OOC, but with good reason. Other than that, read on and be nice, it'll all make sense in the end.**  
  
Twilight fades   
through blistered Avalon   
the sky's cruel torch   
on arching autobahn   
into the uncertain divine   
we scream into the last divine   
You make me real   
you make me real   
strong as I feel   
you make me real   
Sheila rides on crashing nightingale   
intake eyes leave passing vapor trails   
with blushing brilliance alive   
because it's time to arrive   
You make me real   
you make me real   
strong as I feel   
you make me real   
Lately I just can't seem to believe   
discard my friends to change the scenery   
it meant the world to hold a bruising faith   
but now it's just a matter of grace   
A summer storm graces all of me   
highway warm sing silent poetry   
I could bring you the light   
and take you home into the night   
You make me real   
lately I just can't seem to believe   
you make me real   
discard my friends to change the scenery   
strong as I feel   
it meant the world to hold a bruising faith   
you make me real   
but now it's just a matter of grace   
--Smashing Pumpkins  
"To Shelia"  
  
Chapter 4  
  
The smell of bacon drifting through the air greeted him as he awoke in a warm bed, the sun's warm rays drifting across his pillow.   
  
"He's awake." Whispered a voice beside him, which followed up with an eruption of giggles, then two small bodies leaping onto the bed and pummeling him.  
  
"Daddy!" They both laughed, as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. When he opened them, he saw two little girls grinning up at him impishly. One, the spitting image of Julia at maybe three or four, the other older with short, fiery red hair.  
  
"Ed?" He asked groggily.  
  
The girl giggled. "Why does Daddy act like he doesn't know me? I'm Faye."  
  
"Faye?" He echoed. Why did that name sound familiar? And why did this world not seem right?  
  
"Girls." Called a voice, that sent chills up his spine. "Breakfast is read." The two small children vaulted off the bed, scampering out the doorway past their mother.  
  
His heart literally stopped when he saw her standing there in the doorway. She looked like an angel in her regular housedress, bathed in the rosy morning light. She smiled at him gently, wiping her hands with a dishrag.  
  
"Mornin' sunshine." She grinned, leaning against the doorframe.  
  
He stumbled out of bed, nearly falling flat on his face when his foot caught on his sheets. But he finally reached her, gently brushing his fingers across her face. He stared at her wide blue eyes and laughed to himself.  
  
"You're alive!" He kissed her, then held an arms length between them. "You're so beautiful." Julia gave him a weird look and laughed, placing her hand on his forehead.   
  
"Are you okay, honey?"  
  
He picked her up around the waist and twirled her around in the hallway.  
  
"I've never been better!"  
  
He put her down and touched her soft blonde hair. "I thought you were dead."  
  
Smiling she took his hand and kissed it gently. "It was just a dream." She reached up and brushed her fingers through his hair. "It was all just a dream."  
  
Something inside him felt odd. A strange, unsettling feeling in his heart. But before he could really think more of it, she patted him on the chest.   
  
"Go take a shower, you're going to be late for work."  
  
And it seemed like in moments, he was showered, dressed, fed and out the door. For some reason her was walking to work, but like so many other things, he didn't bother to question it.  
  
Above him skyscrapers stretched into the clouds as aircraft's daftly flew between them. In awe, he watched them, open mouthed, his head in the clouds.  
  
"Sir?" He looked down to see an old, withered woman, dressed entirely in deep red robes. Her face was so wrinkled; it was hard make out eyes and a mouth on her. And for one instant, he thought she was one of those old Indian statues they used to put out in front of cigar stores. But then she spoke again. "Would you like to see your future?"  
  
Smiling gently, he gave her a small wave. "No thank you."  
  
She smiled back at him and bowed her head. "You can not avoid it forever."  
  
And again, it seemed as though time passed in warp speed. People, places and the entire day streamed by him in flashes of light and sound and before he knew it, it was the next morning and he was once again walking to work, staring up at the clouds.  
  
"Sir?" Slowly he pulled his eyes from the spectacle above him, to once again look down upon the same old woman, dressed differently, but still in a deep, rich red. "Your future awaits you just behind the cloth." She gestured to the tent that fluttered gently in the breeze.  
  
Once again he smiled and shook his head.  
  
"The past may be comfortable, my son, but the future is inevitable."  
  
And so time passed as it usually did, he found himself always wondering where it hard gone. He couldn't get enough of his two beautiful daughters and to hold Julia every night was a feeling that he struggled words to describe. But everyday the old crone stopped him, and after a while, curiosity got the best him. What did lie behind the soft, silk sheets of that tent? Why was that woman so adamant to get him inside? And what would happen if he actually did give into temptation and go inside?"  
  
He rolled over in bed and looked at Julia, his sleeping angel. He blonde hair trailed out behind her as chest gently rose and fell during her slumber. His fingers followed the waves that flowed through her hair, as her eyelashes fluttered slightly.  
  
"Are you okay?" She murmured to him sleepily.  
  
He smiled gently, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, just can't sleep." Softly, he placed a kiss on her forehead.  
  
Seemingly being enough for her, she sighed, placing her hands on his chest. Time began to slip away again, but before it could get too far, he asked her:  
  
"Where is our future, Julia?"  
  
A soft, sleepy chuckle answered him. "In the stars, just like everyone else's."  
  
And then it was morning, and he was on his way to work.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
He was brought out of his gaze from the heaven's expecting to see the old woman again, but instead saw a large, burly man. The man was so tall and wide, he blocked out the sun, but he smiled gently, and gestured towards the tent.  
  
"Your future is just beyond this doorway." The man opened the tent flap with his prosthetic arm, and gestured inside with the other.  
  
Feeling cocky, he smirked, finally having a come back. "My future is in the stars."  
  
The big man smirked back. "Our Lady is from the stars."   
  
Not wanting to tell this guy no, he carefully entered. It was fairly dark, yet the air felt surprisingly light, free flowing. He pushed through another set of fabric and was taken back by the sight he saw.   
  
Misty blue moutons stretched out for hundreds of miles in the clear distance. He feet stood in a deep cheery lacquered porch, beautifully decorated with fine, elegant curves in the wood. Past that stretched a garden. It seemed to go on for miles and miles, but truly, the most amazing part was the two large statues that greeted you at the entrance. Both stark marble, and both, he thought, looked like Greek Goddesses. He explored the deck in awe, before he was grounded by a soft voice.  
  
"Your future is here."  
  
Whipping around, he nearly fell over from shock. Before him stood a beautiful apparition, dressed in flowing blue robes, her black shining hair nearly brushing the floor as she approached him. Her green eyes seemed to be ripping right down to his soul, as she stood before him. A smile tipped her lips as she reached forward and placed a small blue flower behind his ear. The back of her hand gently drifted down his cheek, and he found himself catching it with his own to hold it in place.  
  
"What is your name?" He asked her breathlessly. Never before had he been so entranced by a human being. She looked like a gypsy Goddess to him, dressed in her white linens that hung from her hips and swayed gracefully with the rhythm of her body. Tiny bells and small medallions, all of silver, jingled quietly with her every breath.  
  
"February." Her voice was low enough to send a chill up his spine. Gently, she took his hand and led him back inside, to a room he hadn't seen before, blanked with pillows. He sat and she seemed to float to sit down before him. "And you have finally given in, ready to face the truth, haven't you, Morris?"  
  
"That isn't my name." He told her, although it was what he was called all the time, at work and at home. Before it never seemed questionable, but now it seemed utterly impossible.  
  
That smile, the one she always seemed to have on, that led him to believe she knew much more that he came to her mouth once again. "I know." She said simply, lighting an inscent and peering up at him through her think, sooty lashes.   
  
Inside him he felt a warmth that nearly melted her heart. There was something about her that brought him comfort. It seemed all of his life (well that he could remember anyway) he had a strange, unsettling feeling inside him, an emptiness that suddenly seemed to fill to the brim while in her presence.  
  
So distracted by his thoughts, he hadn't noticed she had stood again, and was now at the lip of the porch, glancing over her shoulder at him.  
  
"Would you like to go for a walk?"  
  
He stumbled up clumsily over the several pillows, knocking over the inscent in the process. Cursing, he frantically tried to put it out before the entire place went up in flames.  
  
"It'll be fine." She told him, suddenly standing before him.  
  
He stared up at her in awe, then glanced down at the cold inscent, before he looked back up at her. "How did you move so fast?" Breathlessly, he stood, his eyes betraying the wonderment that was racing through his mind.  
  
There was no answer from her as she gently linked her arm with his and led him down the steps and into the Old French styled garden. Above him, from rod iron archways, hung vines of every beautiful, sweet smelling flower he could have ever imagined. Tall walls of flowers encased them as the occasional fountain or statue broke up the floral hedges.  
  
"What is your favorite season?" She asked him, letting him leave her side to investigate one of the garden's statues.  
  
"Winter." He answered, idly looking at the small, naked cherub, wondering why they never put fig leaves over their privates like they did adult sculptures. From the corner of his eye, he watched a flower shrivel up and wither away. He glanced over as the entire stretch of flowers before him, suddenly turned black and gradually disappeared. Something cold prickled his nose, as tiny snowflakes began to fall on the ground. Below his feet, what was once lush green grass, was now beautiful sparkling snow.  
  
He whirled back around towards her. She stood in the same spot she was before, only this time dressed in a heavy cloak, lined with white fur.   
  
"How..." But the question died on his tongue, for he didn't know what to ask.  
  
"Do you like my cape?" She asked, twisting a bit to allow it to flutter out across the snow.  
  
He admired the fine garment made of red velvet, but in the back of his mind, he wished it were green, to match her eyes.  
  
And with in that instant the cloak shifted from red to green. She looked down at it admirably.  
  
"Anything but blue."  
  
But his mind was reeling. How could this all be happening? Why was it that here, his every whim could be answered, his very thoughts turned into reality? What kind of place was this and what the hell did it have to do with his future? His eyes glanced down at the cherub to see a fig leaf covering it's private.  
  
"Jesus Christ!" He jumped back, nearly falling in the snow, placing his hand on his forehead.  
  
A soft chuckle was heard from her, then the crunching of her boots in the snow as she approached him.  
  
Her warm hands removed his own from his forehead. He looked down at her solemnly and she simply smiled at him.  
  
"You haven't figured it out yet, have you?" She asked, pushing back her hood.  
  
And all of a sudden the questions evaporated from his mind and he was left entranced by her beauty.  
  
"You look so familiar to me." He searched his brain, struggling to find a place for her, but failing. "But… but I'm sure I've never met you before."  
  
"Maybe in a past life." She offered.  
  
"Maybe…" He murmured, observing her features carefully. His fingers drifted over the softness of her jet-black hair. "But your hair," He began, his mind slowly telling him how it should be. "It was shorter then, am I right?" He asked, second-guessing himself.  
  
"Perhaps it was." Was all she offered.  
  
His finger dragged along where he thought the length should be. "It was to about here." The excess hair dropped to the ground in a dark heap of curls, before it turned into a pile of snow. "And…" His finger traced the other side, that did the same, becoming another pile of snow. He surveyed her once again. "You had something… a head band of sort, to keep your hair from your eyes." A green band of fabrics appeared around her neck. Gently he pulled it onto her forehead and pushed it back. Her sleek strands of black parted more, exposing her entire porcelain face. He found himself breathless, his hands hovering at her hairline as he finally saw the woman he was longing for, yet still didn't remember. His fingers trailed down her cheeks to rest below her chin.  
  
"Who are you?" He asked her, his voice barely able to rise above a whisper. Her hands reached up to cover his.  
  
"You're trembling." She told him.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because, this is the first time I've ever been scared."  
  
That smile again. She was asking him questions she already knew the answers to. "Are you afraid of me?"  
  
"Of everything here."  
  
"We always fear that which we can not comprehend, but there is no reason to fear this place," Her eyes softened. "Or me."  
  
"Why did you want me to come here? What does this place have to do with my future? And how come I haven't see it yet?"  
  
"Maybe you're looking too hard." Her hands lifted from his, though he kept his in place. "Or not hard enough."  
  
"Why can't you give me a strait answer?"  
  
"Why can't you ask the right questions?" She countered quietly.  
  
His eyes drifted over her face, which had become the slightest bit flushed from their conversation. A wanton thought appeared in him mind, causing a tickle in his stomach. His hands flew from her face and he took a step back.  
  
She remained in place, and although her smile was no longer there, she didn't look upset. A slight wind blew by, gently rustling a few strands of ebony before her eyes. "This is a place where everything is possible. Anything can happen here, your greatest wishes, your deepest desires…"  
  
His throat felt like it was suddenly made out of the driest of cotton, parched beyond belief. Inside his chest, his heart was beating at alarming rates. His skin felt hot against the cold air, as he took another step back, as if distancing himself would take the yearning away.  
  
"I'm married." He managed to say hoarsely, taking yet another step back.  
  
"Are you?" Her voice was even, in a tone that seemed like she was asking because she knew he was lying.   
  
But he wasn't. Julia was at home. With his children. He needed to leave this place and get back to her. To reality.  
  
"This is the closest to reality you've been in months." She told him, reading his thoughts.  
  
He shook his head, no longer wanting to hear anything from this place. "I have to go." He told her, simply turning and running as fast as he could through the snow. The garden seemed shorter this time, now that he wanted to escape here instead of delve into the unknown as he had before.  
  
He flew up the stairs and through the silk curtains to burst back into his world, which was now dark blue. Neither the man, nor the crone was outside when her emerged, thought he wouldn't have slowed down if they were. He ran the entire way, until he reached his porch, winded from the journey.  
  
When he entered the house it felt warm to him, glowing with the love of his family. Faye, who was sitting on the living room floor, typing into her laptop, jumped up when she saw him, tackling him back into the door.  
  
"He's home! He's home!" She cried happily.  
  
From the kitchen came the sound of chairs scraping against the floor and hurried footsteps. Julia paused in the doorway, her eyes instantly filling with joy and relief when she saw him. She rushed forward and embraced them both.  
  
"Oh we were so worried about you, honey." She pulled back, her eyes glistening slightly. "Where were you all this time? Your boss called to see why you were out and I--" He placed a finger over her lips gently and smiled.  
  
For the first time he saw another occupant in the doorway he hadn't before. A man with silver hair and ice blue eyes, who was holding his little girl. Although he hadn't noticed it before, they bared a strong resemblance to each other.  
  
"Thanks for helping out, Vic." He said stiffly, trying to sound like he was okay with this man staying with his wife and kids while he was gone. He didn't trust Vic, not around Julia anyway.  
  
Later that night, while Julia was asleep, he lay awake, staring up at the ceiling, his mind working hard for him to rest. What was that world he stepped into? Who was that woman and why did he desire her so when the entire universe laid beside him in his bed? Was she right when she said he hadn't been close to reality in months? Why did she intrigue him so? And most of all, why did he long to return to her?  
  
  
** So there we go. This chapter will continue soon. I still might not make sense to some, but all in time, I promise. It might have been confusing with all the name changes and such, but it took a long time to write because it's all relevant to dreams. Pretty much every thing you look up in this chapter in a dream book, makes sense with my story, even down to him just knowing Julia's name, and having all the others being wrong. Mind blowing? Not really, but I thought it might be interesting. Anyway, it'll continue in another chapter or so. I'll try to post more chapters before I go back to school.** 


	5. The Warmth

** Hey guys... yeah I know, it's been over a year, I'm a big fat douche bag for not updating. Things got seriously strange for a while and I unfortunately didn't have time to update in all the chaos... But thank your lucky stars that I got rid of my nut job room mate and now live half way across the country, because now, I can finally finish this story for you all. So far, I have most if it done, it's just typing that kills me, but I promise to wrap this up in the next few weeks to come! Thanks for the reviews, even if it took so long for me to respond, they really gave me the kick in the ass I needed to get into motion and finish this thing.**  
  
  
"I'd like to close my eyes and go numb  
But there's a cold wind coming from  
The top of the highest, high rise today.  
It's not a breeze, 'cause it blows hard  
Yes and it wants me to discard   
The humanity I know, watch the warmth blow away.  
Do you think I should, adhere  
To that pressing new frontier  
And leave in my wake a trail of fear  
Or should I hold my head up high  
And throw a wrench in spokes by  
Leaving the air behind me clear?  
Don't let the world bring you down  
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold  
Remember why you came and while you're alive  
Experience the warmth before you grow old."  
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.  
- Incubus, "The Warmth."  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Faye stared at the TV screen intently, as the anchorman reported the grim news.   
  
"It seems as though there is a connection to this mass cereal killer people are now calling 'The Ripper'. Like his 19th century namesake, this Ripper seems to be targeting members of underground prostitution and killing them inhumanely. Galaxy famous, Peter Zigman, the mastermind behind many of Jupiter's high ranking brothels, was brutally murdered weeks ago by The Ripper and shortly after, Kimmy Bui, said to be the most famous mistress in the Galaxy was also found, her body mutilated beyond recognition. Weeks have gone by since then, and this morning, two more bodies were found, their faces completely torn from their skulls" The anchorman seemed to turn green at the thought. Two pictures appeared on the screen, both young women, both very beautiful. "Andrea Materson and Mana Pheap are said to be the victims, after detailed DNA research. More on this story within the hour--"  
  
Faye clicked off the TV, and stared at the blank screen. Jet entered the room behind her, wiping his hands in a rag.  
  
"You're all set Faye. And this is the last time I--"  
  
"Two more were killed, Jet.' Faye said solemnly, standing from the couch and stretching her arms above her head.   
  
"The same guy?"  
  
"Looks that way. They're calling him 'The Ripper' after Jack the Ripper, because of the way he mutilates his victims."  
  
Jet shrugged, digging with the rag below his thumbnail. "Makes sense."  
  
Faye bent down and picked up the napping Morris, who had been at the other end of the couch. He yawned and began purring, nudging against her chin.   
  
"Where's Julia?" She asked, suddenly realizing she hadn't seen the blonde all morning.  
  
Chuckling Jet shook his head. "She took Edward out for a while." He nodded towards the computer. "Better put the news back on a watch for reports of a woman killing an annoying child."  
  
Faye smiled, petting Morris's back. "I think I'm going to go out for a bit." She said. Not really to Jet, but to herself, as she looked out the windows and into space. "How far are we from Jupiter?"  
  
"A few thousand miles, probably take you about 20 minutes."   
  
She nodded, and nuzzled Morris's fur. "Wanna go for a ride?" He meowed in response.  
  
* * *  
  
She stood outside the glass windows, staring up at the neon eye. Glancing down, she looked at Morris, who had sat down and started licking his paw. For some reason she felt like she needed to come here, even if the old hag running it was a cheapskate and was going to screw her out of money.   
  
"You coming in?" She asked Morris. The cat looked back up at her, doubtfully, and went back to licking his paw. "Jerk." Faye grumbled, pushing open the door. The bells on the door jingled once again as she entered the small, sweet smelling store.   
  
"I knew you'd come back." Called the same crackily voice from the other room. The crone stuck her head out from the curtain and grinned, showing off her few remaining teeth.   
  
"I would hope so, since you call yourself a psychic." Faye commented blandly, looking about the linen draped store once again. It was a very beautiful place, made you feel relaxed and peaceful inside. But then again, who knew what the old lady was burning back there; maybe this tingly feeling was just a contact high. "Look," She told the old woman, who had come out from curtains and started lighting incense. "I don't have a ton of money--"  
  
"I know that."  
  
"And I didn't come here to get screwed--"  
  
"I know." The old woman smiled gently up at her and gestured to the pillows before her with a knarled hand. "Have a seat."  
  
Reluctantly, Faye took a seat across from her, folding her legs and sitting Indian style. She watched as the woman closed her eyes and began chanting quietly to herself. Her low, gravelly voice was almost soothing to Faye as she also closed her eyes, finding herself taking deep breaths, her limbs relaxing more with each exhale.  
  
"Dear child," The woman said softly, a hint of pain in her voice. "Much turmoil you have faced. Your life has never been what you expected, has it? No, no it hasn't." She answered herself. "You have a wall around your heart, around your soul. When one barricades their soul, it is easy not to feel pain, because no one can get in. But one did, didn't he?" Faye could almost hear her smiling. "Someone who you least expected, someone you never imagined could love you." She paused for a moment, taking in a few deep breaths, as if to relax herself even more. "Spike."  
  
Faye's eyes snapped open and she could feel tears threatening to spill over the rims of her eyes. The old woman remained relaxed, almost looking like she was asleep.  
  
"He was quite a man." Her forehead wrinkled. "But he smoked too much."  
  
Despite herself, Faye chuckled, wiping her eyes. "Yeah, he did."  
  
"And he also had a past that haunted him." Her face softened. Faye was astonished to see wetness seeping out of the corners of her closed, wrinkled eyes. "Oh child... how he loved you." A small, comforting smile pulled up her lips. Faye was crying openly now, though silently, not wanting to disturb the peaceful setting. "It's something you've often wondered, isn't it? If his words were real." A soft, wrinkled hand brushed Faye's cheek. "There was so much he wanted to share with you, so much he wanted to tell you. But the Blood dragon was out for his soul..."   
  
Faye's heart felt heavy in her chest as her chin fell. She already knew Spike was dead, she really didn't need salt rubbed in that wound. "Please stop." She whispered weakly.  
  
Slowly, the old woman cracked open her eyes, her pupils remaining dilated, even though the room was fairly bright. She gave Faye a soft smile, like a Grandmother would give her kin. "Things aren't always as the seem, my dear. Someday you will see him again."  
  
Faye shuddered at the creepy statement. She never wanted to think about dying, not after Spike. She unfolded her legs and stood, quickly brushing away any stray moisture on her face. Reaching into her pocket she grabbed a wad of cash. The old woman waved her hand slightly.  
  
"No fee, it was my pleasure." And with that, she hobbled off behind the curtain and disappeared. Never being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, even if it did seem wrong, Faye shrugged and walked out the door, back onto the street.  
* * *  
When she arrived back on the Bebop, everything was already dark. She had spent more time in town than she had expected. As she passed him, Ein gave her a tired glance, then lower his head again.   
  
"Some watch dog you are."  
  
Not even bothering to stop anywhere else, she stumbled strait into her room, pulling off her red jacket and letting it fall to the floor. Maybe she was a lot more tired than she had originally thought. She draped herself carelessly over her bed, a limb or two hanging off the side. Why had she gone back to that old woman? Why couldn't she just bury Spike and let him rest in peace?   
  
Her eyelids felt heavy as she struggled to stay awake. She looked at the macaroni picture Ed had made for her. It was funny how she now accepted this life, these people. They were her family now. The only home she could go to. Why had she been so reluctant to see that in the beginning? Why had she rejected them? Pushed them away? With a sigh, she rolled to her side, facing the wall.   
  
Things were so much different now that he was gone. It seemed the relationships on the Bebop went in strange, sitcom like stages. At first it was four strangers, picked to live in a ship and try to make a living, only surviving on bell peppers and beef. Then it turned to one crazy kid, a genius dog, two grown adults who fight like children, and the man who tries to keep it all strait. After that, it morphed into, a couple who were hard on their luck and went to live with their 'father figure' of a friend, and his demented little girl and dog. And then he was gone, and Julia was there. So it was, widowed wife and ex-wife try to live in peace, while the ships owner has no say in anything that goes on, especially when it comes to the cat, the dog and the girl. Jesus H. What a strange group of people.  
  
And yet she wouldn't want it any other way. Faintly, she wondered what weird role shift they would go to next, before she lost her battle with consciousness, and fell to sleep.  
  
* * *  
  
Space stretched out infinitely before her as she placed her hand on the cool glass window. Secretly, the universe still fascinated her. Before the accident, space travel was still at a minimal. Trips to the moon where all the were achieved, and now... well now they were so deep in space she didn't even know where the hell they were. But it was like that all the time. After all, it was easy to be swallowed up in the vastness of space, considering how infinite and miniscule she was, simply existing as a human being.   
  
"What are you doing up this late?" Asked a smoky smooth voice behind her. She jumped slightly, looking to the reflection over her shoulder.  
  
Spike stood behind her, illuminated from the dim light of space. He was shirtless and stood in his usual position, hands in his pockets. She felt her cheeks grow warm as she lowered her head, praying he couldn't tell.   
  
"Couldn't sleep." She offered simply, quietly.  
  
She heard him spark his lighter, then take a deep drag, before stepping beside her. A steady stream of smoke came from his mouth before hitting the glass and rolling away.  
  
"Me too."  
  
They stood in comfortable silence; each lost in their own thoughts.  
  
Faye glanced over at him through her eyelashes, hoping he wouldn't catch her. His hair was wild and messy like always, the outline rimmed with light, while the rest was silhouetted in darkness. She saw the curve of his cheek, the slope of his nose, the sweep of his jawbone and the glint of his eye. All the rest blended in with the night.   
  
"Do I have something on my face?"  
  
Faye, startled for the second time that night, blushed with embarrassment. He had caught her. Quickly she scrambled for something to say. She noticed a small dark trickle running down his arm, from the bandage that secured it.  
  
"You're bleeding."  
  
Spike glanced down at the bandages disdainfully. "Shit." He grumbled, cigarette between his lips. He started to unwrap the gauze, when Faye placed her hand over his. It felt warm and stable against her own trembling one. She pulled away.  
  
"Sit down, I'll rewrap it for you."  
  
She turned, her heart fluttering up to her throat. She had never touched Spike's hand before, and normally, it wouldn't be such a big deal, but for some reason it haunted her. As she reached into the medical cabinet, she could fell the brush of his knuckles against her palm. Come to think of it, she and Spike never had any physical contact, other than times like this when she was fixing him up.  
  
He sat on the couch, elbows on knees, hands dangling between them. Quietly, she kneeled before him, placing all that she needed on the floor beside her. She leaned forward, her hands reaching to unwrap the old bandages. Spike leaned back slightly, putting some distance between their faces. Cursing her still trembling fingers, she tried to work quickly, hoping he wouldn't notice her uneasy behavior. Deep down, she had been thinking about him differently lately. Strange thoughts began to coil themselves in her mind, and she wondered where that had come from. They made her blush, made her stomach feel weightless and made her heart race. And she hated it.  
  
Afraid he might be reading her thoughts; she gave a small smile. "Funny how I always seem to be patching you up."  
  
Spike, whose chin had been resting in his other hand, elbow still planted on his knee, gave her a sideways glance. "Wouldn't call it funny, considering I'm always hurt."  
  
Faye looked over at him. "Maybe you should stop being such a lunkhead and you wouldn't be shot up all the time."  
  
He smirked slightly. "I'll keep that in mind. And this is a stab wound, not a bullet hole."  
  
"Oh well, in that case..." She mumbled sarcastically.  
  
His hand dropped from his chin and he began to watch as she rewrapped his arm with a new spool of gauze.  
  
Uneasy from his gaze, Faye tried to lower her head to hide her face behind the safe curtain of her hair. It wasn't working. She fastened the bandage and sat back on her legs, tucking her hair behind her ear. He leaned forward again, elbows on knees. Selfishly, she wished she had taken a little more time, just to be in the warm frame of his body a little while longer.  
  
"What were you thinking about earlier?" He asked.   
  
Faye gave him a puzzled look. "Since when do you ask me stuff like that?"  
  
Spike returned with a shrug and a grin. "It doesn't happen very often, you should take full advantage while you can."  
  
Her gaze wandered back towards the window. She turned her head from him, wondering if she should even bother. Deep down she was scared. What if he laughed at her? What if he didn't understand? She spent the past 3 years, building up walls for a reason. Why let someone in so easily now? Especially someone so heavily guarded as Spike. But she found herself wanting to confess, not being strong enough to hold up the shield this time.  
  
"I was thinking," She began quietly, barely above a whisper. "About how tiny and obsolete we are, as people. I mean, look at the earth. From here, it's just a tiny, pale blue dot. And yet it's our home. All of our home's, whether you were born on Mars or Jupiter, we all originally came from earth. As tiny as it may seem from here, millions upon millions of people live there, inhabit that space and many others through out the galaxy. And what are we? Even smaller dots, mere blips in the span of time." The thoughts were even more depressing when she expressed them out loud. Her eyes lowered to the floor, her face still turned, afraid to meet his judgmental gaze. "All this time I've wondered about my life, why things turned out the way they did. Why I was the one who woke up decades later, still young, yet unable to remember a damn thing. Why I was chosen to be truly alone in life. I don't even have memories to visit for comfort. No birthdays, no friends, no family. Just me... alone." To her surprise, she felt a tear slip over her cheek. Fear raced through her body, and she hoped he hadn't seen it.  
  
But she felt his warm fingers brush below her eye, gently sweeping the moisture away. She turned her head to him, her eyes wide in disbelief. He gazed back at her evenly, no expression on his face to betray his emotions and she wondered if she had imagined his touch.  
  
"I hate it when women cry." He said simply.  
  
His breath warmed her cheek. She felt goosebumps flow over her skin. "I hate to cry."  
  
He was so close, staring right into her eyes and yet, she couldn't pull herself away. She had yearned for this. This closeness, this contact with another being.  
  
"We're always alone." His voice was low, hushed, maybe because she was so close; he didn't want to startle her. "We're born alone and die alone. We spend our entire lives trying to make contact with others, trying to feel wanted, to feel connected." She watched as his eyes washed over her face, taking in her features. "We fool ourselves into believing we'll be fulfilled if we're not alone. But when it comes time to die, it's only you. No one else. Realization comes only then, and you finally see the irony of it all. That in the respect of always being alone, you're not, because everyone else is too."  
  
She swallowed and allowed her eyes to close for a moment. Her senses were going into overload being like this. When she opened her eyes, he was still there, mere inches before her. His mouth looked inviting, so she moved up to his eyes. "I don't want to be alone." Somehow meekly exited her lips.  
  
"Neither does anyone else."  
  
She felt slightly drugged suddenly, the chaos and monotony of the day finally catching up with her. Her entire body seemed to relax and give way to her subconscious. She felt the brush of his nose to hers, before the soft pressure of his mouth covered her own. At the moment, she wasn't sure who had leaned into who or how it really happened, but the gentle press of her lips to his seemed to stop the universe. Nothing else existed in the deep, cold vacuum, just his warm mouth. No thoughts went through her mind, no issues with the past, no worries of the future, just the calmness of the present.  
  
His mouth lifted away and her eyes remained closed briefly. It wasn't a passionate kiss by any means, but it spoke volumes with out making a sound. Her body felt free floating, the weight of her existence lifted for one frame in time.  
  
Slowly she opened her eyes again to meet his. They just stared at each other, neither one making any effort to move. There was no shock, no beams of sunshine, no fireworks. Just a comfortable warmth.  
  
And suddenly it was gone and she was grounded. Reality hit her with a vengeance and she backed away from their cozy position, quickly finding it awkward and alien.  
  
"I should go to bed." She stood, almost a little too fast, as her mind began to stream once again with its endless questions.  
  
Spike watched as she made haste. He stood casually from the couch and made his way towards the window again.  
  
Faye paused in the doorway. "Spike?"  
  
He turned his head from the window to look at her. All at once she felt that elated high all over again. She wanted to turn back and let it happen again. To run, kiss him till she was breathless and tell him all the things she wanted to say, all the things that always occupied her mind. But instead, she settled on: "Goodnight."  
  
Something passed over his face; she wasn't sure what it was really. Disappointment or maybe a ghost of a smile, but at least he responded: "Goodnight, Faye." Before he turned back to the stars.  
  
* * *  
  
The early morning noises of the Bebop signaled her it was time to get out of bed. Yet she stayed, wrapped up in the cozy cocoon of blankets. With a deep sigh she turned to her side and closed her eyes again.  
  
"Why can't you just leave me alone, Spike?"  
  
  
**Sorry, that's all for now. I'm awful at typing, and that took me forever to do, which is seriously pathetic. But anyway, I hope you guys like it. Just incase you didn't realize, it was a memory, not a dream. Faye is haunted by memories, Spike is stuck in the weird dream world. I'm really excited to finish this, let me know what you guys think so far!** 


	6. Thank you

** It's me again. I've updated (obviously). I hope people are enjoying my story, and if I could I'd like to hear some feedback. Thanks a lot!**  
If the sun refused to shine,   
I would still be loving you.   
When mountains crumble to the sea,   
there will still be you and me.   
Kind woman, I give you my all,   
Kind woman, nothing more.   
Little drops of rain whisper of the pain,   
tears of loves lost in the days gone by.   
My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,   
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.   
An inspiration is what you are to me,   
inspiration, look... see.   
And so today, my world it smiles,   
your hand in mine, we walk the miles,   
Thanks to you it will be done,   
for you to me are the only one.   
Happiness, no more be sad,   
happiness....I'm glad.   
If the sun refused to shine,   
I would still be loving you.   
When mountains crumble to the sea,   
there will still be you and me."  
"Thank you." --Led Zeppelin   
  
Julia stared up at the ceiling tiles, her eyes tracing the delicate detail of the tiny swirls and curves of each block. It was a nice ceiling. A nice room for that matter, much better than the rusty roof of the Bebop. Not that she was complaining, any roof, even one covered with welding bullets, was better than no roof.  
  
She sighed and placed her hands behind her head. The bed wasn't too bad either. Soft, yet firm enough for back support. Also good for the business that went on in a place like this. Outside in the hall, she heard giggling and a door close. Someone had a client.  
  
As beautiful as this place was, it harbored some dark secrets behind its walls.   
  
They had come here, nearly a week ago, under Jet's plan. Of course it was a great plan for him, considering he got to stay on the Bebop. She and Faye were undercover, as call girls. Not that they had to sleep with men, they were just here to keep an eye on things, to see if the Ripper would show up. He hadn't so far.   
  
She had protested the plan at first, but not as much as Faye. But really there was no argument; they had no other plans. And of course, Madame Brisette, the mistress of the house, was more than happy to allow them to stay, as long as they only took up one room, ate their own food and offered protection for her girls. So here they were… well, here she was, laying on one of their beds in the cramped room, waiting for Faye to get back. Where the hell was she anyway? She'd been gone for at least an hour already.   
  
To her left, she heard the key in the lock. Finally! She rolled her head to the side and gave her partner a small smile.   
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey." Faye plunked down on the bed, one foot tucked underneath her, the other dangling over the side. She reached inside the brown bag in her lap and tossed Julia a bag of chips.   
  
"Thanks."  
  
It was weird really, how she and Faye were. They were sitting on the same bed, less than a foot apart, and completely silent. Yet neither of them seemed to mind. There are very few people in the world that Julia could do that with, and one of them was dead.  
  
She ate her chips quickly, boredom only quelling her hunger.  
  
"What'd you when I was gone?" Faye asked, with a full mouth. Her cheek was puffed out to one side as she devoured the sandwich in her hands.  
  
"Sit around and be bored. What took you so long?"  
  
Faye finished chewing and reached into the bag again, producing a bottle of Jack Daniels. "I got us a little gift for later." She placed the bottle on the nightstand between their beds and began to wrap up the other half of her sandwich. "Anything new?"  
  
"Nah." Julia reached for hers, but Faye stopped her.   
  
"You should really save that. This is lunch and dinner for tonight. We're low on funds." She nodded towards the bottle. "Sacrifices, you know?"  
  
Sadly Julia looked down at her beautiful sandwich, covered in saran wrap. She was still hungry. But it was worth it, right? With a sigh, she tossed it aside. "We gotta catch this guy."  
  
"You're tellin' me."  
  
* * *  
It was 2:30 in the morning. They had been up all night, waiting for each and every girl to come home or for their client to leave. Another night without problems. Faye rolled onto her side. Something just didn't seem right. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find a position comfortable enough to fall asleep in.   
  
Next door, Eloise had a client. The continuous thump of the headboard against the wall above her head was starting to wear on her.   
  
"I hate this place." She groaned, pulling her pillow over her head. From the other bed, Julia chuckled. With a cold glare, Faye moved the pillow from her face. "Glad you find it amusing."  
  
"Sorry." Julia offered, half-heartedly.  
  
Loud grunting noises started coming from the wall. Sitting up, Faye looked at the wall in shock. "What do you think they're doing over there?"  
  
Placing her hands behind her head, Julia gave her a bland look. "Playing Parcheesi."  
  
Flopping back down on her side, Faye fluffed her pillow, before slamming her head into it. "Nice to see you've been picking up smart ass tips from Jet."   
  
Julia sighed, not taking Faye's cranky comment to heart, and once again looked up at the ceiling. That's all there was to do around here. The thumping of the headboard made her think of the one other thing there was to do here.  
  
"Can you imagine having to live like this?"  
  
"No, these rooms are hotter than hell." Faye grumbled, pushing the remainder of her covers off the bed with her feet.   
  
Julia rolled to her side. "I mean, can you imagine having to sell yourself in order to live? To be able to simply exist in society?" The thought made her cringe. What an awful life these girls must have. Sure they got to live in a nice home, with 3 meals a day, but they were tied here. They had no freedom to the outside world. Their Mistress was their master, their parent, their God. What did they have to look forward to? They were forever in debt. No matter how many men came along. And now there was even more at stake.  
  
"Why do you think he wants them dead?" She asked, her mind drifting to the Ripper.  
  
The question had rolled around in Faye's mind since the first gruesome murder. "Maybe he's some sort of Jesus freak, wanting to be a modern day crusader."  
  
"Maybe he was abused by his mother, who was a hooker."  
  
"Maybe he's just a sick asshole who kills prostitutes." Faye offered.  
  
"Maybe." Julia leaned over to the nightstand and grabbed her cigarettes. "Want a smoke?"  
  
Faye sat up, letting her legs fall over the side of her bed. That was a yes in Julia's book. She tossed her one, then the lighter, after she had lit her own. Faye leaned down and grabbed the bottle of Jack, taking off the top and gulping down a few mouthfuls, before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and giving the bottle to Julia.  
  
Leaning against her headboard, Faye sparked the lighter. The alcohol still burned in her chest, as she indulged in the smoky smoothness of her cigarette. They were stretching them out now, sharing a pack a day. It was literally hell. Staring across the empty room, she folded her arm across her stomach and drew her knees up.  
  
"Julia?"  
  
Julia 'hmm' in response, probably enjoying the ecstasy of nicotine herself.  
  
Faye took another drag and let it out. "What the hell did you ever see in Vicious?"  
  
When she didn't answer, Faye looked over to the other bed. Julia looked much like she did, sitting in the same position, staring off, thinking.  
  
"Power." She finally answered. "He was the toughest, hardest and most cut throat person I had ever met. I knew I'd be going places if I stayed with him." She flicked her ashes into the ashtray between them, her eyes still looking distant. She took another hit off the J.D bottle, before handing it over to Faye. "He was not a man to cross. Definitely someone you didn't want to make an enemy out of, and I wouldn't have. Until I met Spike."  
  
Faye stilled the bottle at her lips, as her heart gave a slight palpitation at the mention of his name. She gave a grunt, smiling slightly. "That Lunkhead turned everyone into a dumb ass."  
  
Julia smiled in return. "He sure did."  
  
Next door Eloise gave out a loud a loud scream. The girls glanced over at each other.  
  
"Christ all mighty, what's he killing her over there?"  
  
The thumping stopped.  
  
Faye stood up, slightly wobbly, on her bed, and pressed her ear to the wall. "I think they're done." She snorted and flicked her ashes into the try. "By the sounds of it, she should be paying him."  
  
Julia gave her a wry look and stubbed out her cigarette. This place was wearing on her consciousness. She genuinely liked the women here, even if their profession was less than admirable. It vaguely made her wonder what she'd be doing now if she weren't lucky enough to get in the syndicate. A bitter smile appeared at the thought. Imagine, considering herself lucky to be trapped in such a gutter of society.   
  
To her, the syndicate ended up being a huge black hole. It looked mysterious and beautifully dangerous in the beginning, but as soon as you were in, the only way to get out was to give up you life. Or someone else's.  
  
She picked up her brush from her nightstand and sat behind Faye. Silently, she began to brush her hair.  
  
Faye didn't say a word, just continued to finish her cigarette. She had a way of savoring things more, taking more time to draw out the cigarette, instead of sucking it up, like Julia had.  
  
Julia watched the black strands being shifted through the brush, it's highlights shining purple in the dark. The complete opposite of her own wavy strands of gold. Faye had let her hair grow out, since she'd come along. It reached just below her shoulder blades at this point. She often wondered why she hadn't continued to have it cut, after all, the original style needed up keep to maintain it's shape.   
  
"Your hair's getting so long."  
  
Faye took her last drag, before snubbing out the butt. "Yeah."  
  
"I like it… it seems softens your face."  
  
With a small huff, Faye smiled. "Thanks."  
  
"I mean it makes you look nicer."  
  
"Quit while you're ahead, Julia."  
  
Sighing, Julia let her arm fall to the side, stopping the soothing combing of Faye's hair. Faye glanced over her shoulder. She hadn't said anything, but she loved it when people would brush her hair. She remembered, as a little girl, her mother sitting on her bed, stroking her ebony stands until the shined, free of any tangles. It was strange that something so simple you experienced as a child could bring you such comfort as an adult.  
  
Julia leaned forward and pressed her cheek to the back of Faye's shoulder. "Do you miss him?"  
  
She felt Faye's muscles tense up slightly below her cheekbone. Ever since that night, they never mentioned either of their feelings regarding Spike. He came up in conversation, of course, but it was more like 'Spike always used to steal my cigarettes' or 'Spike always complained about the cooking', nothing very personal. Faye had always wondered about him and Julia, but feared to ask. She was afraid of what she might hear, and also afraid to share. What if Spike did love Julia more? What if she was just a painkiller, a little distraction, from the forever-aching need for Julia? Any details of their relationship she wanted to be deaf and blind to, for fear of tainting her own memory.  
  
"Sometimes."  
  
Julia sighed and closed her eyes. She could hear Faye's steady, yet slightly elevated heart beat in her ears. "Me too." It felt good to finally bring it out in the open. It had been almost a year. "Sometimes I think he's alive." Faye's heartbeat rose another step. "I think about what would happen if he came back." She felt Faye move from beneath her cheek, and she looked up, sitting back slightly.  
  
Faye turned her upper half slightly, to stare Julia in the face with her sober expression. Her green eyes seemed to piece through the center of Julia's hope.  
  
"And if he were alive? Then what? What would happen with us Julia? What would you do?" Her voice was calm, unwavering and cold. "I know you'd assume he's go back to you, but what is he chose me? Would you be able to handle that? To look at the two of us together and know he loved me more than you?" Her features softened slightly. "I know I couldn't do that. Julia, Spike's dead. And…" Her gaze dropped to the floor. "Better off that way."  
  
* * *  
  
****Spike's World****  
  
His hands trembled as he held the gun in his right, his head in the left. He couldn't believe it, yet he had seen it with his own eyes. His beautiful wife, his perfect family, his wonderful life. All blown to shit, just because he had come home fifteen minutes early. Had he stopped to talk to someone on his route home, had he just paused to think for a while, everything would have been just as it was before. But he had been early.  
  
The image of his angel, his Julia, sheet pulled around her chest, sputtering excuses as the man next to her glared back at him, no emotion ever crossing his features, was burned into his mind. What did Vic care anyway? His life wasn't over. He didn't trust that rat bastard from day one. And apparently with good reason.  
  
Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, he stared at the grout between the tiles. Now what was he going to do? His shoulder hissed with pain, as the blood from the wound began to seep further and further down his arm. Maybe he would bleed to death. Maybe he should just shoot himself now. Of course, it would help to have bullets in his gun. He gave a sigh of disgust as he tossed the useless weapon onto the floor. It cracked a tile, before spinning and clanking against the base of the toilet. What the hell good was a gun if you couldn't use to kill the bastard that's been banging your wife? The only purpose it served was to knock the bastard out cold before he could land another blow with his knife. His shoulder began to ache now, and he placed his hand over it, making a feeble attempt for comfort.  
  
He should have killed the bastard, but he didn't. Instead he just ran, like a coward. Left Julia, his life and everything else behind, checking into the first motel he came across. Boy did he get some weird looks, limping in, dripping blood all over. But they gave him a room anyway.  
  
For an instant, he felt a touch of fear. He was alone now. As confusing as everything was to him there, it was still his home, right? He had married that woman, raised those children, even if he couldn't remember everything, it had still happened. And now he had nothing. Just a lousy gun with no bullets.  
  
He closed his eyes and wished for anything. Just a moment of comfort. A smile from a stranger, a warm hand on his shoulder (not the wounded one, of course), a bowl of goddamn soup, anything, it didn't matter.  
  
The wind tousled his hair slightly as he opened his eyes. Before him was the tent, it's canvas fluttering peacefully in the breeze. For months now he had avoided that tent at all costs. He would take alternative routes to work, distract himself constantly, and do whatever else it took to keep his mind from her.  
  
But no matter what he did, she was always there.   
  
There were no greeters this time, just the wind, gently pushing him forward, urging him to continue. Taking a deep breath, and receiving a sharp pain, he stepped through the fabric and into the world he had longed to return to. He passed through the second set of silk curtains, expecting to be in the room blanketed with pillows again, but instead, stepping into a rich, luxurious bedroom.   
  
The wallpaper was a deep burgundy, with golden designs; swirling and dancing their way up to meet the ceiling. Every piece of furniture was unique and ornate; it's lacquer gleaming by the light if the fire. Before the fireplace rested an elegant couch, it's wooden lion clawed base shining, it's material looking soft and smooth to the eye. Between the hearth and the couch stretched a bearskin, glowing gold by firelight. God he wanted to lie on the couch.   
  
He stepped in, awe-struck by his surroundings. A glorious canopy bed arched nearly to the ceiling, delicately carved with tiny ivy leaves and adorned with the finest of wine colored sheets.  
  
"I was expecting you."  
  
His attention focused on her. She was sitting before a vanity he hadn't noticed before. Quietly she placed her brush before her, watching him in the reflection.  
  
Bashfully, he placed his (good) hand behind his head and shrugged his (good) shoulder boyishly. A soft smile replied to him as she stood. She was dressed on a simple white night dress. It was by no means sexy, but her bare arms and gossamer material was enough to cause him to blush and glance away.  
  
"Sit, I'll tend to your wounds." Gesturing towards the couch, she headed for the water basin.  
  
He settled on the couch uneasily, not liking the direction his thoughts were straying.  
  
She stood before him with the bowl of water, the fire behind her nearly making her nightgown transparent. She knelt before him, reaching in the bowl for a cloth.  
  
"Lie down."  
  
He did so as she rung out the small scrap of material. Gently, she unbuttoned his blood stained shirt, and pulled it aside from his shoulder, dabbing the wound that, thankfully, was on the shoulder facing her. A stinging pain seeped inside the wound and he sucked in a breath to keep himself from screaming. Her hand paused slightly, her eyes surveying him for when to continue. When she thought he was ready, she bowed her head and worked diligently to finish up the job.  
  
He watched her quietly, ignoring the pain. The firelight gleamed off the crown of her hair, looking to him like the dim outline of a halo. Her head lifted a little, her beautiful emerald eyes meeting his for a moment before drifting towards his mouth. A blush graced her features, as she bowed her head again. His fingertips reached out, gently drifting through her soft, short strands. She secured the final wrap around his shoulder, leaning back a little, his hand coming to rest on the back of her neck.  
  
"Thank you." He offered quietly.  
  
"Your welcome."  
  
Gently, he used the tips of his fingers to pull her forward. It seemed as if he were wrapped in a web of tiny, invisible strings, all cinching, and pulling them slowly together. Her big, clear eyes called him closer, as her soft red lips enticed him for a taste. He felt an inkling of familiarity as the scene played out, but for the life of him could not place why. The flames made her skin glow amber, with softer golden tones. His palms itched to reach out and lay over the small of her back, testing the warmth of her body below the thin gown.  
  
His lips brushed against her forehead. His fingers relaxed a bit, allowing her to sit back. He gazed at her quietly, over come with an immense feeling he had only felt long ago.  
  
"My wife cheated on me." He told her quietly. She stared back at him evenly, showing no signs of sympathy. "For years, actually, and I didn't even know."  
  
She reached for his bandage, removing it with out a sound. Her hand drifted over his newly healed skin. But the miracle of the new shoulder didn't concern him at the moment. He paused, catching her hand in his.  
  
"Are you to return the betrayal?" She asked softly, not making any attempt to move her hand.   
  
He hesitated, before removing his hand from hers. "I don't know. Our marriage was over long ago."  
  
Her fingers trailed down, drifting over the sensitive skin of him abdomen, as she searched his eyes soberly. "So much pain in your life, it's no wonder you weren't allowed to enjoy the dream." Too distracted by her wandering fingertips, he didn't question her statement. "It can change." Her palm came to rest on his chest. "All of this, if you just take the chance."  
  
"What chance is that?" He asked though coin slit eyes.  
  
She gazed back at him softly. "Why ask questions you already know the answer to?"  
  
He paused before he sat up, leaning on his arm. His hand reached out again, entwining his fingers into her soft strands. His mouth brushed the corner of hers, before they pressed fully. Wanting more, but afraid of his sudden greed for lust, he turned his mouth away, letting out a frustrated sigh.  
  
"I'm sorry." He whispered weakly.  
  
She placed her hands on either side of his face, giving him a comforting smile. "Would you like some wine?"  
  
Gulping, he nodded as she stood. He leaned back again, resting his hand behind his head, watching her as she poured the wine from its bottle. She turned to him, glasses in hand.  
  
"Follow me." She said simply, turning and walking through a doorway he had not noticed until the very second she disappeared through it. He stood easily, no pain coming from that once wounded shoulder. He followed her into the room, once again taken back by mystery and beauty. The was no furniture, just a wooden floor with a square cut in the center, inside the hole, dark gleaming water, reflecting the moon, which shone through the single window on the other end of the room,   
  
"What's this?" He asked, walking to the edge of the water hole.  
  
She came up behind him, two white towels draped over her arms, yet still holding the glasses. "It's a bath." Gently she placed the two glasses down. "Please, take off your clothes."  
  
He stared at her blankly for a second, before he laughed. "You can't be serious."  
  
"I am."  
  
"What good will a bath do me?"  
  
"Cleanse you as well as relax you." She replied simply.  
  
She did have a point, he thought, staring at the steam swirling up from the surface of the glistening tub.  
  
"Alright." His fingers fumbled with his belt, suddenly nervous. He glanced up at her. "Turn around."  
  
A tiny hint of a smile graced her lips before she turned from him. Quickly, he undressed and descended into the hot bath. An involuntary moan escaped him, as the tension from his body came to rest in the warm water.  
  
Once he was in the bath, she turned and sat beside him on the floor. Her hand dipped into the water, producing a sponge. She clenched it above his back, allowing the hot water to trickle over his sore muscles.  
  
"Who is the man your wife allowed into your bed?"  
  
He wrapped his arms around his legs, allowing the soothing water to cascade down his back.  
  
"An old comrade." He didn't know why he said it, he hated Vic. But, instead of feeling the immense anger he had before, now he only felt defeat. Sadness for the marriage the never truly existed. But all the anger was gone, because now he was with her. Now the world was moving slow. He was with her and it was all the mattered.  
  
He heard her slip into the bath behind him. Her legs gently clamped his sides as her arm draped over his shoulders, reclining him back onto her. His head rested on her shoulder as he relaxed against her soft body. Her breasts pushed against his back as the rest of his body molded to fit the unique cushion she made for him.  
  
A sudden feeling came over him, one which he had experienced many times around her. But this time he didn't fight it. After all, he was a man, and she, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She had bewitched him, enticed him into looking at the forbidden fruit, now all he had to do was taste it.  
  
His eyes closed as her hands fluttered below the water, massaging his stomach muscles. "This must be heaven." He murmured against her jawbone.  
  
Against his back he felt her chuckle. "Maybe," Her hands drifted up to his chest again. "For do you know what true heaven is?"  
  
Allowing his hand to press against her thigh, his response came out in a slight moan. "No, what?"  
  
"Truth." Her mouth pressed against his ear, her hot breath sending chills racing up his spine. She placed a trail of kisses on his shoulder. "Haven't you always wanted the answers? Why you have no memory of your past? Why you only know what people tell you? How come nothing seems right and everything moves so fast? Aren't those the questions that haunt your mind?" Her hands once again drifted down and teasingly massaged his lower belly. "There's more too. Where did you meet your wife? When were your children born? How did you get your job? How come people call you by a name you know isn't your own?" She paused, removing her hands and placing them on his shoulders. "But most of all, who am I and why do you know me?"  
  
His body felt revved and primed for excitement. Blood hummed through his veins like never before. All at once he felt nervous, excited and scared, but most of all anxious. She had pushed him to the edge and now it was time for a taste.  
  
He sat up from the comfy cradle of her body, to turn around and face her. Her skin seemed to glow in the moonlight, the ends of her hair wet, as her body glistened from the steam. Quietly he leaned forward, closing the gaps between their mouths. He captured her mouth with a great hunger, devouring it, conquering it as his own. Her skin felt slick and smooth below the water as his hands eagerly roved over each inch of it. He was loosing himself to her. He pulled away, short of breath, and slightly ashamed of his animalistic behavior.  
  
Her own breath was short now as she stared back at him, the water level rising and falling on her chest with each gasp.  
  
"All those things you said before, how did you know them?"  
  
She seemed to survey him for a moment before she spoke. "Because I know all that has to do with you." The water covered her shoulders as she leaned forward to him. "I know you're ready. Please, say you're ready."  
  
Her eyes seemed like delicate jade saucers, brimmed with tears, as she pleaded to him. He was starting to get that strange feeling again. How could she possibly know the answers he was looking for?  
  
"Read for what?"  
  
She paused again, her eyes scanning his face. "The truth… your future."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Slowly, she stood, glimmering rivets running down her body. He watched, in slight awe, as she lifted herself onto the bath, her legs still hanging into the water. Without a word, she called him forward, and he complied, standing himself. He rested his hands on either side of her thighs and kissed her lighter, more sensual this time. Deep down, he got the feeling that this was the end, he'd never see her again.  
  
She reclined onto the floor, as he softly followed her, trying not to press her with his weight. This was now more than just sex, more than just getting back at an unfaithful wife. This was deeper. Poetry without words, music without sound, a dream becoming reality. He felt like he was praying at the temple of a Goddess. That this was not a carnal act of man, but instead an ancient ritual to better oneself. Leaving one life to fulfill another. It was all this, and even more.  
  
His body felt light and euphoric as they caressed each other. Never before had it felt like this.   
  
Her warm hand grasped onto him, guiding him inside her. With one motion, he felt a warmth flow throughout him, and he continued to move with her in this perfectly synched molding of their bodies. She clung to him, as if trying to keep their bodies in full contact as he rested his forehead on her shoulder. Something was building inside him, another feeling unlike any other. He had done this deed before, but this time it felt like the powers of the cosmos were within him, ready to explode. She was caught up in her own waves of pleasure, herself, seemingly on the verge of her own explosion.  
  
A release let go inside her, as she trembled below him, her nails digging themselves into the skin of his shoulders. And then she pressed her lips to his ear again, and moaned something.  
  
"Spike."  
  
It was like a floodgate had been opened. Flashes of things he had forgot he had forgotten. A childhood, the syndicate, Julia, Vicious and the death that never really happened. A new life, Jet, Ed, Ein, all of it was rushing back… and her. Not like the Goddess he met, but the woman. The sarcastic, rude, foul-mouthed, pain in the ass woman who stole his cigarettes and his food. The annoying tag along who cheated at everything, always got into trouble, then bailed him out. The lonely, scared woman who he shared so much with. The beautiful, soft and caring woman whom he had fallen in love with.  
  
"Faye."  
  
It came out as a hoarse whisper. Grudgingly lifted his heavy eyelids, only to be blinded with hot, bright light.  
**That's it! I'm thinking that not many people like this story, but I'm not sure. I think my review numbers are a little low, so I'm trying to get more people to read, and then get their opinions. So help a writer out! Anyway, things are going to start getting pretty strange around the Bebop. Check back a little later for more updates.** 


	7. Losing My Religion pt1

Life is bigger,   
It's bigger than you   
And you are not me   
The lengths that I will go to  
The distance in your eyes   
Oh no I've said too much.   
I set it up.   
That's me in the corner,   
That's me in the spotlight   
Losing my religion.   
Trying to keep up with you   
And I don't know if I can do it.   
Oh no I've said too much.   
I haven't said enough.   
I thought that I heard you laughing,   
I thought that I heard you sing,   
I think I thought I saw you try.   
Every whisper   
Of every waking hour   
I'm Choosing my confessions,   
Trying to keep an eye on you,   
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool.   
Oh no I've said too much.   
I set it up.   
Consider this   
The hint of the century,   
Consider this   
The slip that brought me   
To my knees failed.   
What if all these fantasies   
Come flailing around?   
Now I've said too much.   
I thought that I heard you laughing,   
I thought that I heard you sing,   
I think I thought I saw you try   
But that was just a dream.   
That was just a dream.  
  
"Losing my Religion"  
--R.E.M  
  
(A.N.: These little symbols *** mean a break in the story to a different time or place... just to make it less confusing.)  
  
Sad Songs and Waltzes: Chapter 7  
  
Something forced her to sit straight up in bed. The action was so violent and quick, for a moment she feared someone had yanked her upright from her slumbering position. Her mind was sharp and reeling, trying to remember where she was and what she was doing there.   
  
The Brothel- undercover- searching for the ripper. Her heart began to steady itself.  
  
She was alone, with the exception of the snoring woman in the bed next to hers. Julia's steady breathing filled the room as Faye remained upright, her brow glowing with perspiration.   
  
Why was she up? Slipping her long legs over the edge of her bed she skimmed the bottoms of her feet on the soft rug. Something was happening. Something big.  
  
Quickly she dressed, not particularly worrying about waking Julia, who slept like the dead. As she pulled on her shorts, her mind wandered, going over the morning that brought she and her partner to this hellhole of society.  
  
* * *  
  
"-OOOHHH I THINK I LOVE YOU, SO WHAT AM I SO AFRAID OF? I'M AFRAID THAT I'M UNSURE OF, OF A LOVE THERE IS NO CURE FOR--"  
  
Faye pounded on the bathroom door, wishing she had the strength to knock it down and grab Julia by the throat. "SHUT UP!!" She hollered, battering the door with her fists again. Her black hair was still matted against her head from sleep as she seethed out in the hallway, still dressed in her nightclothes.  
  
From inside she heard a laugh. "What's a matter Faye, you don't like David Cassidy?"  
  
With a quivering eyebrow, Faye stared at the door. "Not this early in the morning."  
  
"It's nearly 1 o'clock." Julia replied her voice sounding tinny in the echoing bathroom. Faye heard her shut off the shower and pull back the curtain. "You should be awake now anyway."  
  
"You should be awake now anyway." Faye mocked under her breath. "You'll see how awake I am when I crack your teeth."  
  
"What was that?" Julia asked.  
  
Crossing her arms, Faye muttered: "Nothing."  
  
The door slid open, followed by a massive cloud of steam. Fanning it from her eyes, Faye grouchily stared at Julia, who stood before her, towels wrapped both around her body and her hair.   
  
"I'd love to strangle you with that." She growled, nodding to the towel on top of Julia's head.  
  
"I'd like to see you try."  
  
"Don't tempt me." Brushing by Julia, Faye entered the bathroom. "There better be some hot water left."  
  
"There is." Julia turned and began walking down the hallway, whistling a tune to herself. Faye stared at her back, completely puzzled. Since when was Julia allowed to be happy?  
  
* * *  
  
Faye stared across the table, a little fascinated, but mostly petrified. Julia was smiling. Granted, it wasn't a huge toothy grin, but still, it was a smile. And not the regular: "I'm smiling because I'm remembering a sad memory of Spike and I"- smile, but a genuine smile.   
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She grumbled, grouchily spooning her breakfast into her mouth.  
  
Julia made a weird little happy noise and smiled a little broader. "What, I can't be happy?"  
  
Faye sat back in her chair, making a truly disgusted face. "Since when do you do anything but mope around? I'm surprised the muscles in your face allow you to smile."  
  
The smile fell from Julia's face as her mouth tightened. "Well excuse me for being human."  
  
Since when have you been even remotely human? Faye thought to herself. She took another spoonful of her breakfast… what the hell was she eating anyway? Instead of trying to identify the food, she decided just to eat it and worry about the consequences later.  
  
Jet strode into the kitchen; chest out, looking quite possibly the happiest Faye has ever seen him. He smiled to Julia, who once again was beaming.  
  
"What the fuck is going on here?" She blurted out.  
  
Jet and Julia both blinked at her. "What do you mean?" Jet asked.  
  
Suspiciously, Faye glanced back and forth between the two. There was something going on that they weren't telling her about. Maybe they had gotten a bounty and not told her about it. Maybe they had put rat poison in her food. She glanced down at it. It looked normal, and besides, she had eaten worse on the Bebop in the past. Maybe they were… eww no, she hoped not.  
  
Jet shook his head and sat down at the table. The smile was gone from his face, and he looked to be all business. "I have a plan to catch that nutcase they're calling the Ripper." Both Julia and Faye gave him their full attention. "It could be dangerous." He warned, eyeing them both.  
  
* * *  
  
Jet and his stupid plans. It was easy for him, considering his ass wasn't on the line. No, right now he was sleeping peacefully on the Bebop, probably curled up with a teddy bear, sucking his thumb. The image made her giggle as she began to unlock the series of deadbolts on the bedroom door.  
  
Where was she going anyway? As the last lock snapped back, she figured it didn't really matter. Maybe she would just go for a walk.  
  
She stepped out into the empty hallway of what was once a beautiful mansion. It still was beautiful, just a little bit more worn and faded, nothing a handy man couldn't fix up. The door closed silently behind her, the sound of her keys jangling in the hallway seemed ten times louder than normal, so loud that she might hear someone yell for her to keep it down. No one did. Turning the key she heard the satisfying click of the lock. Something about knowing Julia was safely locked inside made her feel relaxed.  
  
For a moment she wondered why. Was she relieved that Julia was safe from any danger or that there was now a door and a lock to keep them apart?   
  
She was jarred from her thoughts by the sound of another door opening. A man, dressed in a trench coat and hat quietly closed the door to Eloise's room. Her paused for a moment when he saw her there and Faye lowered her gaze to the floor. Both her and Julia were warned not to look at the faces of the clients, it could scare them off. After all, most of them were probably married or distinguished businessmen, why would they want whores gawking at them? At least, that's what Madame Brisette seemed to think.  
Through her lashes, she saw him tip his hat and bow slightly.   
  
"Have a nice night." His voice was eerily deep and scratchy. Faye mumbled back something, though it wasn't very comprehensive. They weren't supposed to converse with other clients either. Come to think of it, being here was a waste of time. Maybe that's where she would go on her walk, back to the Bebop, to shake Jet of out his peaceful sleep and scream that his stupid plan was never going to work.  
  
She didn't move until the man had disappeared around the corner. With a sigh she started down the hallway and it was only by chance that she glanced at the handle of Elosie's door. Her legs froze as her eyes narrowed in on a rust colored smear that boldly stood out against the stark white door. Her shaky hand reached for the knob.  
  
With a small push, the door swung open into darkness.  
  
Her heart seemed to be beating in her throat and she tried to force it down before she spoke, "Eloise?" Her voice barely left her mouth.   
  
Trembling fingers brushed the wall, searching for the light switch. When they found it, she flicked up the switch, flooding the small room.  
  
For the first time in her life, Faye choked back a scream. She had seen some disturbing things in her life, but she now struggling to keep herself from fainting. Her shoulder crashed into the doorway, her eyes unable to pull themselves away from the horrid scene.  
  
Eloise hung from the ceiling, two ropes from each side of the room tied to her arms, suspending her above her bed. Her head, the left side completely crushed in, hung limp and lifeless from her shoulders. Her abdomen had been sliced open, her innards cascading from her body and onto the bloody bed below her.  
  
Faye shut off the light and jumped back into the hallway. The door shut quietly before her. The Ripper was right there, right beside them the whole time. Her eyes widened remembering the man in the hallway. She never got a good look at his face but she remembered what he was wearing.   
  
She ran down the hallway and out onto the street, as fast as her legs would take her, never giving a thought about her sleeping partner.  
  
* * *  
*** A.N.- Yeah I know, it's been over a year. I'm a neglectful author, but really, this time I'm going to finish this story up. Thanks to all those who have reviewed and kept checking back, I swear, I'll make it worth your while. This is only half of this chapter, look for the rest in a couple of days! I mean it! I'll really update this time! Promise!*** 


End file.
